A new single dad

[Greendad]

My friend's wife just passed away due to a serious health problem she had suffered from for a long time. The problem is that his wife family doesn't seem to believe that he will be responsible enough for raising the kids himself.

 

[jason]

Being a single father is not easy. I'm sure the wife's family has the best intentions, but why not see how it goes and offer assistance when needed?

 

[firstdad]

It will be a hard and painful adjustment for the kids and for himself. He will need all the support and help he could get, and so will the children. Even if the family believes he can't do it, he should also accept help from them.

 

[Alexander]

My friend's wife just passed away due to a serious health problem

If she had a serious problem and suffered for a long time it's pretty safe to assume that she was in no condition to take care of the kids, what do your friends in-laws think, that the kids just mysteriously took care of themselves.

 

[flfsurveyor]

@Greendad - Well, maybe your friend's in-laws had reasons to think that way. Maybe they looked after the children while their mother was ailing. Your friend will just to suck it in and dis-prove his in-laws. But not to be too proud to refuse help; it is the children's well-being that's at stake.

 

[ghanashyam]

One should be very careful while taking the responsibility of very young children, they miss the mother a lot. Certain things a child can confide in the ears of mother only. I think your friend should take the help of his wife's relatives for few years till the children absorb the facts.
As for me, my children were were above 18 years and on their own when their mother died.
But still now, my younger child aged 18, sometimes becomes very sad and would sit alone in corner of a room.
He is not brave enough to cry but I can see he has not become a man yet.

 

[Miller]

My brother-in-law lost his wife (not my wife's sister) when his boys were 10, 12 and 14. He ended up being the best mother and father to those boys. He did get a housekeeper and cook to help on that level, but he was always there for his boys. Now he's remarried, but his boys are out of college.

 

[Foster]

Losing his wife will be difficult enough without his in-laws trying to take the children too. That said why are they trying to take them? Has he given them reason? My thoughts are that he should sit them down and tell them that he knows he can take of them and will always put them first but that he might need their help sometimes and that it would be better for everyone if they support him not try to replace him.

 

[writer811]

Are the in-laws actively trying to take the kids away? I do not support that at all, many people were raised by single parents. But if they just want to help out, financially or by being there, that might be beneficial.

 

[BigPapa]

I think that the in-laws need to realize that your friend is going through a tough time with the death of his wife and so are the children. He might need their support and assistance but they should support him rather than tear him down. The kids are going to need everything to be as routine as possible.

 

[youngone]

Do they have legitimate reasons to doubt him? Maybe their concerns are legitimate, in which case they will need to support your friend and help him raise his children. I hope this isn't another case where the children are fought over because of bitterness and jealousy.