Do you spy on your children

[ghanashyam]

I have this habit or rather I think it is my right to spy on what my younger child is doing. I check his mobile phone, on inward and outward calls and duration of calls and time. I also try my most to hear when he is whispering to his friends about some thing in between them. I think it is my duty to see that he walks straight.
What do you say?

 

[FrankSinatra]

Yes and no. I try to keep informed but I am not going to go out of my way to do it. If they leave their phone out then I will take a quick peek. I try to have some trust but I know that there is a lot of craziness out there and I keep my eyes open for some of the not so obvious signs that many people can overlook.

 

[BigPapa]

My daughter is not old enough to have to worry about this sort of thing with yet, but I would like to think that I would not spy on her. I would trust that I had raised her right and that she would know better than to do something that is out of line with our values and morals.

 

[roncar]

I think I'd only do this if my girls gave me reason to. They are good girls for the most part and their mother and I trust them 99.9%. Their friends seem pretty cool, too. They are basically on the nerdy side, which I don't mind one bit. But if they started be become withdrawn, had a major personality change, bloodshot eyes, acted depressed, etc..., yeah, I'd definitely start spying on them.

 

[R. Paradon]

I believe you are 58 or 59 years old. How old is your youngest child?

I think you are just being nosy. He is your child and therefore you are his father and not some secret agent. If you have a problem (real or in your mind) concerning his behavior, why don't you just sit down with him and have a discussion?

What will happen if he ever has a problem and needs help. Will he seek it from his father, the spy or with trusted friends?

 

[ghanashyam]

I believe you are 58 or 59 years old. How old is your youngest child?

I think you are just being nosy. He is your child and therefore you are his father and not some secret agent. If you have a problem (real or in your mind) concerning his behavior, why don't you just sit down with him and have a discussion?

What will happen if he ever has a problem and needs help. Will he seek it from his father, the spy or with trusted friends?

Yes, you are right I am 59 years and my child is just 17 years, a time in his life when a man can go in wrong directions and then it may become very difficult to bring back. The teen ages of this time, are aware of criminal on the roads, especially the people who lure the young minds by pulling them in drug trade or some nasty things. The local newspapers have always news about these teen age boys picking up trouble with police out of stupidity.

 

[youngone]

I agree with Paradon. You do not have a right to invade their privacy, that will only serve to break the trust in the relationship. They are not a child at 17, they are teenagers and they deserve to be trusted. Reading text messages will not stop your son/daughter taking drugs, if they want to take drugs they will.

 

[jason]

Mine are still far too young to really spy. But I do check in on them when they sleep. I cannot really see looking through their phone or draws.

 

[Bear]

I hope that I have an open enough relationship with my children that I never have to spy on them. My children are still far too young to have to worry about cellphones and all of that though.