done having kids?

[derekwalters]

My wife just gave birth to our 3rd child, a young strapping boy lol, about 2 months ago. We had talked about being done after three kids and have discussed a vasectomy for myself. Now that we have reached the 3 kids mark, I am now unsure if I want to have more kids. the wife says no, but then talks about having another one. I know we need to buckle down and make a decision, I am just so unsure now!! We made this plan back when we got married in 2006, but plans change right? Anyone else have a similar problem/decision?

And how long does it normally take to schedule a vasectomy? I'm too chicken to call them myself . .

 

[polamalu43]

I would wait until you are 100% sure. When I scheduled mine I only had to wait a month. Again I say be 100% sure first. You and your wife really need to have a heart to heart talk.

 

[Salazar]

I agree that you should wait until you're absolutely positive. My wife had her tubes tied after she had our daughter and we have both been regretting it for the past three years. It's probably one of the biggest mistakes we've ever made.

 

[Bear]

You should definitely wait until you are sure. We thought we would be done after two kids and now we are discussing a third. I am glad that we didn't make any permanent decisions after our second was born.

 

[Bearsfan]

My wife is pretty confident that she doesn't want any more children, but we really haven't considered doing anything permanent to make that so. I'd be fine having another, but I'm also happy with the way things are.

 

[Lorenzo]

Getting a vasectomy is serious stuff. I was about to have it done myself when my wife gave birth to our youngest, three years ago (we already have five kids). I already made an appointment with the doctor, etc., but chickened out at the last minute. I needed to read more about the procedure and its success rate. I'm also not sure if I don't want any more kids. So, everyone's right, you need to think it through before you go for it.

 

[jason]

Make sure you think about it and it is what you want to do like others have said. The doctor I want to go with has you sit down and do a consultation. They explain everything, due a little interview to make sure this is what you want. You then have to wait at least 30 days before you can have it done. The procedure only takes about 15 minutes. You will need to provide a sample after so long to make sure it took also. And you can have it reversed, but it is a lot more expensive. I think it is around $5000 to reverse it and $500 to get fixed.

 

[Salazar]

You will need to provide a sample after so long to make sure it took also.

If you decide to do it, the follow up is an absolute must. I had one several years ago and didn't bring in my sample and that's how my daughter got here. That's also the reason why my wife had her tubes tied which, as I said before, we sincerely regret. We thought we were done having kids at the time, though, and she figured since my vasectomy didn't work, having her tubes tied would be the best way to go.

 

[Timothy]

I agree with everyone else here in that you should NOT have a vasectomy until you're 110% sure that you don't want anymore children. Now, with that said, there are plenty of other reliable birth control options out there. They have IUDs out there now that are effective for up to 10 years! Maybe you and your wife should discuss something along those lines until the two of you make a final decision.

 

[Andersson]

We were lucky and ended up stopping with what we had, then nature took it's own course for us and we were okay with it. I know a great deal goes into a woman's operation, is it always easier for the guy though or have things improved?

 

[Sinbian]

I don't think I will ever be done having kids. Three is the number we are at right now and I think there is still room for more. Call me crazy but that is the way I feel.

 

[derekwalters]

Thank you all so very much for your input! I truly appreciate it! It's nice to have a "support group" for dads. You don't see that often. We are going to take it a day at a time for now while taking preventative measures Our kids bring so much joy to our lives and so much purpose! My wife and I had a real heart to heart about it and we both agree that at this time we can't commit to stop having kids. So we'll wait and see what the future has in store!

 

[Victor]

We were lucky and ended up stopping with what we had, then nature took it's own course for us and we were okay with it. I know a great deal goes into a woman's operation, is it always easier for the guy though or have things improved?

Oh, it's definitely easier for us. Their surgery is much more invasive. That's one of the arguments my wife is bringing to bear on me, although there's a good chance she'll still get her tubes tied after we have our third.

Derek, I'm glad you both decided to take alternate measures, since it sounds like neither one of you were ready for permanent birth control.