Friends with new partner of ex

[Rod]

When I got asked out to dinner with my ex and her new (serious) boyfriend I was pretty sure it would be awkward! Turned out to be a nice evening - and me and the new guy had a few things in common from the past.

I don't think we'll ever be best buddies but that's fine.

 

[Howard]

You are a better person than I am---I could NEVER go out with my ex, let alone go out with her and her new boyfriend. For me, if it was over, it's OVER.

 

[geezer]

That's the right attitude to have Rod. Obviously you two have things in common or she wouldn't have fallen for both of you but it takes a big man to admit it.

 

[Rod]

Thanks guys. Some of my friends had the same reaction as you Howard. But what Geezer says makes sense - and life is so much more pleasant without tensions and dramas. Gotta think of the kid too at the end of the day.

 

[wilson]

I still have my ex in my life but that is because we share a child, it has taken many years to deal with some of our feelings towards one another but other than our child, we do not associate. Now I do have two exes I am still friends with, and both were short term dating. I think it depends on the scenario for most people.

 

[Freezie]

If you share a child then I think it's really important to get to know the ex's new partner. It's important to know who is around your child and if you meet and get along, you are less likely to bad mouth them in front of the kids, which is a big no-no.

 

[Thompson]

I agree with Freezie if there are kids involved then 1) you need to all get along for the kid's sake, and 2) if they are going to be a part of your child's life you should attempt to get to know them.

 

[Anthony]

I am so glad that this is not something I have to deal with. I can't imagine how hard it would be to "share" your child with others. I do think it is important to try and get along, at least while the kids are present, so that they don't think the fighting is their fault.

 

[Michael]

That is just plain weird, but I'm glad it works for you. I don't think it would work with either my wife or me. I have been married once, but I do think it would be awkward all the way around. You're a better man than I am.

 

[Andersson]

I see very few people who can do this and I doubt I would. I know one of my exes is on a social site that I visit myself and we still keep in touch. We ended up only dating for a year but the breakup was mutual so it was okay in the end.

 

[Bear]

I guess this just depends on how things were left when you ended the relationship. If there was a lot of anger towards each other I can see where a friendship might be difficult. If you share a child with someone though I think it is important to get to know your ex's new partner.

 

[Salazar]

I also think it's strange, but that's just because it's, sadly, not the norm. I give you credit for keeping things amicable and putting your kid first.

 

[collin]

friends with ex's new partner?

Gotta admit, being friends with your ex's new partner is strange, but I've heard of it before. I guess that's because if you couldn't get along with the ex, often it will be hard to get along with the new boyfriend... but when people are mature enough and can get over the past well enough I guess it can be a somewhat healthy thing to be that secure within the situation to be that relaxed about it all.

Usually jealousy and old hurt feelings will get in the way, but if you are truly over things, I guess this kin of thing can be possible.

Not sure if this would be considered a healthy normal thing to do... going out with the ex and her new bo that is. It just seems sort of twisted somewhat to me. May I ask what was the need for doing this in the first place? Is your ex still clinging to you?

 

[encryptedbytes]

When I got asked out to dinner with my ex and her new (serious) boyfriend I was pretty sure it would be awkward! Turned out to be a nice evening - and me and the new guy had a few things in common from the past.

I don't think we'll ever be best buddies but that's fine.

So often people feel that because they have split with someone that they have to automatically hate the new person they are with. Glad to hear that you haven't fallen for that mentality. You may not be best friends, but it's good that you can get a long and be civil!