Girls and boyfriends
- Thread starter Scooter
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polamalu43
New Member
9 and a boyfriend? Wow! Not in this house. I won't let my kids date until they are in their teens. I would have your wife ask her what the problem was. Ask her also to define their relationship and see if it is appropriate.
I do not have an older daughter, but I have learned some things from my sisters. One of them is to leave them alone. All you need to say is that if she wants to talk, you are a very good listener. She is actually more likely to talk to your wife. I figured that most nine year old girls were moody. It is the age where you are not a kid, but not a teen either.
A nine-year-old girl is mighty young to have a boyfriend, let alone to be "moody" about one. I would definitely have a talk with her, as well as a sit-down talk with her mom and dad there. I remember those nine-year-olds in high school who had boyfriends and what happened to some of them later.
Lieutenant
New Member
As others have said that a nine year old may be a little too young to date, with that being said I would be active in her life. She is probably to young to date so she may need some help. Maybe this boyfriend is taking advantage of her. Granted that's probably the cop in me talking.
I don't think I would be overly supportive of my 9 year old daughter having a "boyfriend", but I am sure they weren't dating as in actually going places. I would just tell her that if she wants to talk you are here to listen, but I would definitely have her mother talk to her as well.
joeldgreat
New Member
I'm just wondering how young people today started relationships at very young age. Mine was 11 years old and just started interest on the the opposite sex. Being moody is I think a change of traits for our young teenager. She will surely recover from it in no time. Most of us already had been to this situation before and we all knew that its all part of life. Let them experience it themselves and all we have to do is to give them advice on the consequences of their actions.
Curious...
A 9 year old girl with a boyfriend is too young. Hopefully, it is nothing more than a glorified friend thing, but I would watch closely having 9 year old youngsters calling each other boyfriend - girlfriend. Maybe the term just "friend" would be more appropriate at this age? I'm not being politically correct because boy how I hate political correctness... but quite simply, they are to young to be having boyfriends and girlfriends at that age. that's just a fact.
I would let the "youngin's" alone on this one. they need, at any age, to be able to learn how to handle rejection as it is a big part of life and reality, and no amount of talk from mom or dad can really do anything to make them get over it. That is something the need to reason out for themselves as they come to the realizations of life.
Life can be cruel and harsh sometimes... but we all need to come to grips with that in our own time and way.
Since there should be no life or death serious concerns here, I say...
Live and let live.
A 9 year old girl with a boyfriend is too young. Hopefully, it is nothing more than a glorified friend thing, but I would watch closely having 9 year old youngsters calling each other boyfriend - girlfriend. Maybe the term just "friend" would be more appropriate at this age? I'm not being politically correct because boy how I hate political correctness... but quite simply, they are to young to be having boyfriends and girlfriends at that age. that's just a fact.
I would let the "youngin's" alone on this one. they need, at any age, to be able to learn how to handle rejection as it is a big part of life and reality, and no amount of talk from mom or dad can really do anything to make them get over it. That is something the need to reason out for themselves as they come to the realizations of life.
Life can be cruel and harsh sometimes... but we all need to come to grips with that in our own time and way.
Since there should be no life or death serious concerns here, I say...
Live and let live.
A nine-year old with a boyfriend, huh. One of my daughters is nine-years old and she is still a baby (for us, at least)! She likes reading Total Girl, Dork diaries and all those tween reading materials that girls her age have. But a boyfriend - she is too young for that. And I think your step-daughter is, too. Still, since "breaking up" with someone special is no laughing matter even for a nine-year old, I think you should just let her be for now. She will come around when she's gotten a grip on things. She is only a little girl, after all.
Victor Leigh
New Member
I would say keep the communications channel open but don't ask her about it. Kids have their own way to getting over things and they will talk to you when they are ready. In their own time.
agoodwriter
New Member
Just ignore it, they are so young that they don't have real "Love" feelings yet for a partner or you can just simply ask why did you broke up with him? I'm sure your daughter will get lots of new boyfriends in future.My 9 year old step-daughter broke up with her boyfiend yesterday. She wouldn't tell me or her mother why. She says that she is OK, but she is really moody. What should I do? Should I try to help her, or should I leave it alone?
I agree to just ignore it! I think this is just a phase. Nine-year-old girls are supposed to be playing outside with their friends, not mooning over boys, and certainly not be involved in a "relationship."Just ignore it, they are so young that they don't have real "Love" feelings yet for a partner or you can just simply ask why did you broke up with him? I'm sure your daughter will get lots of new boyfriends in future.
flfsurveyor
New Member
They really start rather young these days! I recall, in another post a mother found out that her 9-year old daughter was exchanging emails with another girl about sex and hooking up!
You should not ignore this girly 'moodiness' else the kid would think that her parents just do not care. Then she talks to her friends who also don't know any better. Or worse, she posts her loneliness on FB and predators just waiting for vulnerable victims could pounce on her.
If she was my daughter, my wife and I would have a discussion with her just to get a sense of the real nature of the relationship from the kid's perspective. Then, help her deal with her feelings. They are starting young, so, as parents, we should also start our intervention as early as we could. That may be the only chance we will have.
You should not ignore this girly 'moodiness' else the kid would think that her parents just do not care. Then she talks to her friends who also don't know any better. Or worse, she posts her loneliness on FB and predators just waiting for vulnerable victims could pounce on her.
If she was my daughter, my wife and I would have a discussion with her just to get a sense of the real nature of the relationship from the kid's perspective. Then, help her deal with her feelings. They are starting young, so, as parents, we should also start our intervention as early as we could. That may be the only chance we will have.
Hedonologist
New Member
At 9 years old, she is probably left best alone for a few days at least and see how things progress. breakups are common at this age, and she is probably just upset as would be normal. be sure to talk to her but show comp***ion.
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******s shotgun** "I ain't afraid to go back to prison, son."
No, but seriously, nine years old is too young. But that doesn't mean it should be ignored. I read several months ago of a nine year old getting an STD and last year there was a story in the news of how a group of twelve year old boys gang-raped a ten year old girl. Don't be so naive to ***ume that these things don't happen just because of your kid's age. Keep an eye on things but don't interfere unless you think it's going too far.
No, but seriously, nine years old is too young. But that doesn't mean it should be ignored. I read several months ago of a nine year old getting an STD and last year there was a story in the news of how a group of twelve year old boys gang-raped a ten year old girl. Don't be so naive to ***ume that these things don't happen just because of your kid's age. Keep an eye on things but don't interfere unless you think it's going too far.
Niceness8000
New Member
I don't know how serious nine-year-olds are when they are in relationships. I didn't know kids started bonding as couples that young. I think that moodiness should be addressed if this is out of character. At that age, I'm not one to think to give kids their space. And if the relationship isn't serious (as i can't imagine it was), then this so-called break up should not create behavioral changes.