How to handle a bully.

danno

New Member
My son was so angry the other day because a couple of boys in his school were ganging up on him and teasing him. He's quite gentle but can be riled if pushed too far. The trouble is that if he retaliates, it's likely that he will be punished for doing so, yet the school don't stop the bullies. What can I advise him?
 

olderthandirt

New Member
As long as it's just teasing, and nothing physical, your best bet is to work on how to either ignore them or turn it around on them. It's tough, but they have to learn that people will say things they don't like - that doesn't mean it's true or that he has to pay any attention to it. If they can't get a rise out of him, they'll give up eventually as it loses the appeal for them.
 

danno

New Member
He's 12 and has a best friend who is also a girl. I think that's the problem. He is very protective of her and when he rushes to her aid when she is being teased, they turn on him. As you say, as long as it doesn't get physical, it's probably something that he must learn to deal with.
 

On The Mark

New Member
He sounds like a good kid for protecting a girl like that. Tell him to go to the office and tell someone that he thinks one of those guys is going to hurt the girl. See what happens.
 

BigPapa

New Member
I don't think going to the office is necessarily the solution. I do agree that they will give up when you quit reacting to it. He does sound like a good kid though.
 

Bear

New Member
All of this sounds good, but do you remember being 12 and how mean kids are to each other? Not getting a rise may not necessarily be the end of it, but it is very admirable of him to protect his friend.
 

Sinbian

New Member
Why not be smarter than the bullies. Rally up a gang that will be twice as large and bully those bullies. :) Attack is the best form of defense.
 

Timeless

New Member
I really have a hard time understanding bullies. My children have friends that were bullied and they stepped in to protect them. My son has always been a big kid and never like when other kids made fun of someone to the point of hurting them.
 

popsmcnitt

New Member
The original poster has my sympathy. My son deals with the same problems at his school. It is quite the predicament as our children will be punished for any measures of physical retaliation. My advice is to consider home schooling. Of course that requires a lot of time and effort. If you can't home school your child then schedule a parent teacher style conference that includes teachers and school administrators.
 

Blue44

New Member
What motivates bullies to be bullies? I think it's a lack of self-confidence, or self-appreciation. They are trying to be recognized as important people and believe that if they can inflict their will on someone else that they will be respected. Perhaps if our children understood that bullies have a need to be recognized, it would be easier for them to deal with the situation. Maybe they could even help the bullies feel better about themselves.
 
Top