Kids and Manners

[Lorenzo]

I've just about had it with my 10 year old daughter. She is very outspoken, to the point of being rude. She doesn't care who she's talking to or if her words can hurt the other person.

We had dinner last night and I told her to start eating (she talks too much!) because everyone else was almost done with their meal. She shot back saying, "Is it a crime to talk now? Wait! I'll eat when I want to." I got so angry with this retort that I almost slapped her face. That wasn't the first time something like that happened. She's generally a very sweet and thoughtful kid, she just needs to watch what she says.

 

[BigPapa]

Wow, I would have had to take my daughter aside and have a talk with her about that one. I know that sometimes kids do not think of the consequences of what they say. They will never learn if we don't tell them.

 

[Lorenzo]

You're right, BigPapa. Kids should be told what they are doing wrong (or right). After dinner, I actually had a one-on-one with my daughter. I was sorry to see her cry, not because I shouted at her or anything, but she was ashamed of what she did. She asked me to remind her whenever she's on the verge of doing something like that again.

 

[Babar]

That definitely sounds like a smart aleck comment and needs to be stopped in its tracks. You shouldn't just do nothing in these instances, as she'll continue to make comments like it if she knows she can get away with it. Taking away a privilege always works wonders.

 

[Kyp]

It sounds like your daughter is starting to get a bit moody. My daughter was the exact same way around that age. We found that giving a warning, and giving her "the eye" was pretty effective. Since then, she has definitely grown out of the back-talking and snappy attitude. However, she hasn't outgrown talking. We can barely get her to be quiet at times!

 

[micromachne]

I know what would have happened to me if I had done that to MY parents. Let's just say, I'd know NOT to ever do that again. You need to put your foot down about that. It's one thing to be outspoken. It's another to be disrespectful. It's time to show your daughter what's what.

 

[Andersson]

I remember having that issue a long time ago and I swear even more kids lately are getting into being rude thinking its a joke. I have never been able to stand someone who is rude no matter what their age is.

 

[flfsurveyor]

Today's behavior is result of yesterday's discipline. Surely, your daughter's demeanor did not just happen. Maybe whilst she was younger she was already talkative and maybe she was praised for it for being 'so smart'. Perhaps, at around 7 years old, you and your partner should have had a discussion with her about manners. Ten years old is a rather tricky stage for girls. That's usually the time when puberty kicks in and girls are more 'moody'. They will 'push the envelop', so to speak. That's the 'tweener stage - no longer kids but not yet teens. They are trying out different behaviors as they search for their own personalities. Thus, this is also the right time to discuss how they should behave as young ladies. Good luck.

 

[Dan]

I had the feeling of flying across the room just reading that. If she's only 10 think how bad it will be at 13. If you don't believe in hitting then maybe sending her to her room whenever she does that will help. Or taking a cell phone or computer away.

 

[Don]

We had the same problem with our daughter when she was that age. She is now a teenager and still gets snippy with my wife sometimes, but it's not nearly as bad as it use to be.

 

[writer811]

Wow, and she's only ten years old? I have a much younger cousin (Twelve, I believe) who acts the same way. It's really difficult to get her to stop. It's just a matter of teaching them that being outspoken isn't a bad thing, it's just better to pick and choose the opportune times to express yourself. You could solve the problem of world peace but that still doesn't make it ok to blurt it out in the middle of a wedding reception.