Mom Called

[youngdad]

I'm having a hard time dealing with my son's mom calling when she hasn't seen him more than half a dozen times after she gave him up at a few months old. It's not so much that she called. She's done that before. It's that she said she wants to be more a part of Bobby's life. He hardly knows her! It's at time when I've met someone I really like and am looking into going back to school to have a good career, too. Anyone have any suggestions as to how to handle this?

 

[SeaUrchin]

I don't know what to tell you. I personally think every kid needs a Mom and a Dad in their lives. But if she was a bad mother before she gave him up, has she changed at all? It's really your call.

 

[youngdad]

I guess I'm just going to have to wait to talk to her and then I'll know what she wants. Now that she's older, maybe she has changed. I agree that kids need a mom and a dad, but I'm concerned that my son will start getting close to her and she'll desert him again.

 

[HappyMan]

It unfortunately isn't just your call. The courts will eventually device.

All I can say is that if you are nervous, you can petition for supervised visitation in a center to begin with. But if she keeps up regular visits she may eventually be eligible for significant time with your son. Such are the rights of a biological parent-they get to screw with the kid at their own whim, no matter how unfair.

 

[Jerry F]

If you can prove she's unfit, you may be able to get your lawyer to petition to get the visits supervised by a Case Worker. It's really up to the court ultimately as to what they will allow.

 

[NewDad]

I know this is a tough one. Try to think of your son's feelings and well-being before yours in this case. Why is it that you feel uncomfortable? Do you think it's best for him to know her or to not know her in the long run? It really is your call, but please give her a chance if she may deserve it because I've seen so many kids who don't have both parents and it's very, very hard on them.