My step-son's real dad just died

Lorenzo

New Member
I have a nine-year old step-son. We just learned that his real father passed away a couple of weeks ago. No one ever informed us about it, we just learned by chance from a third party. Now our dilemma is how to tell our step-son about it. He never bonded with his real father when the man was still alive and just saw him, less than five times. But even so, I think my step-son needs to know. But how should we tell him?
 

polamalu43

New Member
Wow, tough one. I think you just tell him. It will be hard and its okay. Let him deal with it the way he needs to. He might not even have a hard time with it, being that he doesn't really know him. Just be there for your step son.
 

Lorenzo

New Member
Yes, we're thinking of telling him anytime soon. We're still finding the courage to do so. Right now, we're soliciting advice from family and friends. Thanks for your help, I appreciate it.
 

Andersson

New Member
Why in the heck did someone not tell anyone about this? This is like dire news that someone should have at least told someone to pass along the news. That is really sad.
 

Michael

New Member
These situations are so sad because you can never go backwards in time. Your step-son will continue to have second thoughts as he gets older. Just be there for him and keep the lines of communication open to him. Tell him you just found out, too, but don't wait too long to tell him.
 

jason

Administrator
Staff member
I would sit him down and talk to him. See if he has any questions. I'm shocked though no one bothered to tell him.
 

Lorenzo

New Member
Thanks for the advice, everyone. We have already talked to our step-son and he took the news well. Before we had the "talk" I already talked to him about death and why some people have to die early, and so on. I just wanted to prepare him for the terrible news. And, I'm glad he seemed okay about it. He admitted that he is sad but that he knows his real dad is in a better place and he wouldn't have wanted to see him suffer longer.

Again, thank you all.
 

daddyjay

New Member
I am sorry to hear his biological father passed away. It sounds as if you care about your step-son very much though. And it also sounds as if you handled telling him very well. I hope your step-son can continue to heal over the loss of his father. Even if they were not close, I am still sure it is hard to know his dad has passed away.
 

BigPapa

New Member
Chances are, if he hasn't had a close relationship with him he will probably take it okay. I would just sit him down and explain it to him because the longer you wait the more chance there is that he will feel like you were keeping things from him.
 

Foster

New Member
It's disgusting that no one informed your partner, they may not have bonded but he was still his biological father. I'm a bit late coming to this so all I will say is that I hope telling him went ok and he is starting to heal and get over the shock.
 

youngone

New Member
Deciding whether to wait until he is older or telling him now is a tough decision to make. I'm not sure what I would do if I was in the same position. You will need to be extremely delicate if you decide to tell him now. Good luck.
 
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