Negative talk

[Don]

What do you do when your wife starts talking negatively about the amount of income coming in and your job? Two weeks ago, I had more work than I could do and this week it has really slowed down. Just before she left today, she was being real negative about our finances. It affected me for the whole day.

 

[CHenne]

That would stink! She should have asked to talk and then you could have had a conversation about it. Is this normal for your work - to pick up and slow down.

 

[Don]

Yes, it is either feast or famine. There is usually too much work or not enough. It makes it hard to budget and I guess that is part of the problem.

 

[Victor]

Yes, it is either feast or famine. There is usually too much work or not enough. It makes it hard to budget and I guess that is part of the problem.

That does sound stressful. When you have more work, are you able to set aside money for the leaner times?

I'm not saying your wife should blame you for having less money, but I can understand expressing her concerns.

 

[Andersson]

We made a rule within the first few years of being married to discuss things like mature adults and negative talk was out the window. Even if our kids spoke in a negative manner it was an automatic punishment, light but still to the point that they understood it. Some people do not get what the power of certain words have over others in their life.

 

[Lorenzo]

I can understand your frustration. My wife also can't stop complaining when money is tight. She does the budget, so I know where she's coming from. Still, it would be ideal if you can just get rid of negative talk altogether and focus on things that can be done, right?

 

[Andersson]

Most times negative just brings on more negative and we learned this early in our marriage. We are both worry warts but we each have our own area. She is amazing at finances and projecting for future plans. I am better at keeping things stocked up and knowing what we will need. I guess you just have to find your niche.

 

[Don]

That does sound stressful. When you have more work, are you able to set aside money for the leaner times?

I'm not saying your wife should blame you for having less money, but I can understand expressing her concerns.

We have a nest egg, but we had car trouble a while back and it needed some major repairs. She just gets in these moods sometimes and seems to want to lash out. She has always been that way, but lately it seems like it has gotten worse.

 

[Dad Brad]

It does seem harder than it used to be to get ahead. We have regular savings plans and do a fair amount of investing. We also have rainy day funds, but we both contribute. It has to be harder when only one person is bringing in the income.

 

[Bear]

Money is the one thing my wife and I never fight about, and that is something we agreed on before we ever discussed marriage. Why fight about something that isn't there?

 

[Mel]

I guess my question is: what is she doing to help the situation? Putting more pressure on you is certainly not good for either of you. She should put that energy into doing something to help.

 

[Timothy]

My wife and I don't argue about money, because arguing doesn't make money appear. If you and your wife are having financial problems, the two of you need to sit down and figure out a way to improve the situation. Arguing and/or placing blame aren't going to get the bills paid!