Not a lot of help

[Blake]

Have you noticed that there are not many programs geared toward single fathers? I notice a lot of playgroups at the pre-school for the moms to get together but it seems like the dads don't ever get invited to those sorts of things. Even when it comes to programs to help you with donations and things like that, it's mostly women who get help. I understand that men are in a position of privilege but it would be nice to see more active single fathers.

 

[Mel]

I would guess that you are not being intentionally overlooked by these groups. Maybe if you approach them and ask to be included they will know you have an interest in the groups.

 

[PatrickK]

I think that many people just assume that all single parents are mothers. It's not true but it's the norm. I think a lot of fathers are afraid to ask to be invited because others might find it strange, even though it should not be.

 

[BoyOBoy]

I agree with Blake. Once all those moms realize you're a single dad out there trying to take care of your child, most of them are willing to give you a little hand-holding from time to time. Who knows what that hand-holding might lead to? There are lots of single moms out there, you know.

 

[wilson]

I would hope they are not being intentionally overlooked, that would be bad for everyone. I understand somewhat the issue too, for us in our area only the last few years of SAHD's has boomed, before that nothing. Within the past ten years many people never thought about the single fathers out there either, thats why you hear that 99% of the time in divorce the kids go to the mom. I am happy to see dads stepping up though, too many get the name dead beat parent when they are anything but it!

 

[Tobsey]

Well, there are many generalizations and overlooks out there, not just in normal life amongst people but with organizations as well. I'm sure some of them would be interested to break the circle and include single dads in their schedules.

 

[Paul1960]

In the state I live in, when a divorce occurs the MOTHER almost ALWAYS ends up with the children, so naturally all of the single-parent aid provided by the state is geared towards women. It's unfortunate but there's a stereotype that the mother cares more about her children than the father, so it's hard to find support groups geared towards single fathers. It's sad how surprised most people are to discover that a man is a single father with custody of his children, because it happens so infrequently.

 

[bighelp]

Why do you not take the chance to start one up in your local area? I am sure other fathers would appreciate it too. And Paul, its not every time but many times it happens that way. I know three single moms who all became the weekend parent and only due to the lack of funds needed for a good lawyer along with having nasty exes.

 

[Michael]

I say go out and make a group yourself. Many single mom groups would welcome a single dad into the support group, especially if you have a skill like screwing in light bulbs or using a drill. Every woman needs a man for a little fix-it chore now and then.

 

[Babar]

What do you mean men are in a "position of privilege"? If you're a single father, I would think not. I do agree there is an extreme lack of support for fathers, though. I blame our slow-to-evolve society.

 

[ryan]

It's too bad that there is still a bias toward fathers who stay at home. Women are considered good mothers for staying at home with their children. Fathers should get the same respect. Maybe we'll move out of the Stone Age one of these days. One can always hope.

 

[LeonR]

I found a few stay-at-home moms when I was a stay-at-home dad who didn't mind taking me in and including me in various gatherings. My kids got to be with other kids, and I got to trade recipes. The ladies knew I was married, so it wasn't that kind of problem.

 

[flfsurveyor]

Very true. There little support for SAHD or single dads. It is probably assumed that the single dad wont stay single for too long to need support. Maybe it is time to form a support group. Men are usually shy to join these kinds of groups but when they know it will help them, they would.