Rearing stepchildren isn't as easy!

Justadad

New Member
I was a grandfather, with adult children when I married again and took on my young stepdaughter and stepson. I considered myself very experienced as a parent however, I soon learned that rearing stepchildren is a great deal more difficult than bringing up your own kids. Have any of you discovered this?
 

youngone

New Member
It can be difficult, it all depends on the step-children and how they respond to having a dad who isn't their 'real' dad. Some children will respond well and grow to love their step-dad, others will encounter problems and rebel. I do think it's generally harder for step-dads, though.
 

Justadad

New Member
Oh, I had both kinds of stepchildren. The youngest, a girl, took to me immediately maybe because I had already reared four daughters, but the eldest, a boy, didn't like me at all and it took the longest time for him to trust me.
 

Jatelo2

New Member
I have stated this somewhere in the forum! It is very difficult to take of these kids due certain paranoia they do develop. They think they are not always treated right
 

daddyjay

New Member
I am going to become a step-parent soon. My wife's ex is going to be allowing me to adopt the kids. I am not sure if this makes a difference at all. I love these kids dearly but realize it will take them time to love me.
 

jason

Administrator
Staff member
I am a bit different. My daughter has known only me. I have adopted her, and she knows it. So for me and for her; she is my child.

My brother has a lot different experience. His wife's boys were 8 or so. He has had a much harder time. The biologic dad doe not make it easy either as he allows them to do whatever they wish and my brother is more strict.
 

Endalia

New Member
I hear you, Guys. It's rough taking on someone else's kids. They have a huge bargaining chip because they can always say "I want to live with Daddy" if they are unhappy about something at your house. Of course, your lady will cave in and pretty much let them do as they please because she will be worried they will go to live with the Ex. I have traveled this road before and it's not an easy one.
 

Lorenzo

New Member
I have two step-kids, and like Jason, they grew up with me as their dad. I guess one of the reasons why they are close to me is because their own dad didn't even exert the effort to spend time with them, nor even communicate with them through phone or email. It also helps that I don't treat them differently from my three biological kids.
 

Michael

New Member
We have a couple of these situations in our family, and it is not easy. The kids find it too easy to blame the step-parent for any little thing that doesn't suit them.
 

Jack

New Member
Blended families do not always turn out all lollipops and rainbows like on the Brady Bunch. Just because blended families present challenges doesn't mean they are totally bad experiences either.
 

Justadad

New Member
I suppose it was easier for me in a way, because their biological father wasn't around, plus they hated him anyway, but I know that some fathers are luckier than others when it comes to dealing with stepchildren. There's no instruction manual that I'm aware of!
 

John

New Member
For this reason alone I would think twice and then three times before getting married again to someone who had children. I'm probably in the minority. I would hate to be the bad guy.
 
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