Selfishness?

Sinbian

New Member
What is the main reason people get divorced these days, in your opinion? To me, it seems that people are too selfish. You can say that flaws in other person's character are the reason but you have a choice and make an effort to accept those flaws.
 

Victor

New Member
I think there are entirely too many different reasons to pin it down to one. I don't personally see divorce as a bad thing, if the parties concerned are unhappy enough to consider one. Divorce is not a walk in the park.
 

olderthandirt

New Member
I don't think it's selfishness so much as the wrong expectations. For the past 50 years or so, the psychologists have preached that we need to have more self-esteem, more of what we want and less responsibility. It's no wonder that people think marriage will be a lark and that they run at the first sign of a problem. People don't work at things like they used to.
 

jason

Administrator
Staff member
I tend to think the younger generation thinks marriage is a joke anymore. I still remember years ago standing in line with three girls in front of me. Two of them were congratulating the one on the recent engagement to which she replies with that he would make a good first husband.
 

On The Mark

New Member
I don't think it's being selfish if they can't get along, have tried and just cannot make it work. It's more like admitting defeat in a way.
 

John

New Member
Television and celebrities have really done a number on marriage and the commitment it takes. I am thankful my parents brought me up with old-fashioned values. We could all give it up sometimes, but with a little work and two people working toward the same goal, marriage can be such a great thing.
 

Sinbian

New Member
I don't think it's selfishness so much as the wrong expectations. For the past 50 years or so, the psychologists have preached that we need to have more self-esteem, more of what we want and less responsibility. It's no wonder that people think marriage will be a lark and that they run at the first sign of a problem. People don't work at things like they used to.
Isn't that rooted in selfishness? I mean we're basically talking about the same thing. People are more concentrated on themselves. Maybe they don't feel it that way but the result is the same.
 

Chrisitan

New Member
I don't know what the problem is but with the divorce rate hovering at around 50%, I think we need some changes. I've tried to show my children that we have to work on problems together to be able to work everything out and I think they get that. I usually make them sit down together if they have a fight and try to work it out together. They do pretty good, I have to say.
 

Sinbian

New Member
Most people don't realize that in reality compromise is not finding a middle solution but accepting other person's solution. Forgetting about yourself for a minute may be the key for a good marriage. There's my point about selfishness again.
 

Zimmer

New Member
The value's have changed. Back in the day getting married was not something you did on the spur of the moment. The other important factor is that we don't attach a stigma to divorce anymore, it has become socially acceptable behavior.
 

Victor

New Member
I think it's important to remember, however, that happily divorced is better than unhappily married. People should try to save their marriages but there is only so much that can be done, particularly if we are discussing issues like abuse or addiction. Back when divorce rates are lower, many of those people stayed in the marriage and suffered.
 

On The Mark

New Member
Most people don't realize that in reality compromise is not finding a middle solution but accepting other person's solution. Forgetting about yourself for a minute may be the key for a good marriage. There's my point about selfishness again.
And that's a very good point I think. But sometimes you can do that all day long, but the other person doesn't appreciate that fact. When that happens, it's time to leave.
 

Sinbian

New Member
My opinion is that you can find a compromise with any person in the world. But the other person needs to realize that and be respectful of the fact that you tried to do this.
 

Blue44

New Member
I don't know what the problem is but with the divorce rate hovering at around 50%, I think we need some changes. I've tried to show my children that we have to work on problems together to be able to work everything out and I think they get that. I usually make them sit down together if they have a fight and try to work it out together. They do pretty good, I have to say.
Christian, I think you are taking the right approach with your children. I read one time that marriage is not a 60 percent / 50 percent arrangement but a 100 percent / 100 percent commitment. To me, that says that each person needs to give up and give in to keep their marriage on course.
 
Top