Sleep Issues

[Victor]

My wife wants to move the infant from the bed to the crib, but says when she puts the baby in the crib, she only sleeps for about 45 minutes at a time. My wife then nurses her and puts her back until she's too tired from frequent wakings and leaves her in bed. I can't help too much because I spend half the night in my 2 year old's room (she's a terrible sleeper; even crying it out didn't work for her).

Do you have any suggestions?

 

[HappyDad]

Your wife has accidentally trained your baby to sleep in your bed and now comes the tough part, undoing it. Try putting the baby back in the crib and rub her back to keep her asleep. When she begins to stir, rub her back again to soothe her until she stops fussing. Give that a try. On the extreme end, you can always put her in the crib and let her cry herself to sleep. I'm not a fan of the extreme method. Too much of a softy.

 

[Enrique]

From this part of the globe, babies are expected to sleep on their parents' bed until they are about four or five. That's the normal, accepted process. Of course, we also have our share of waking up every few hours or so when the baby is hungry or wet. Usually, I'm the one who gets up and lulls the baby back to sleep.

 

[Victor]

I had my wife try rubbing and patting the baby's back while she laid in the crib. The poor little girl cried and screamed for 15 minutes before my wife gave up and picked her up. She couldn't handle hearing it any longer.

I don’t think we want the baby in bed for 4 or 5 years though.

 

[Timothy]

My wife's cousin found herself in a similar situation. She'd read online somewhere that it's better for the child to sleep in the bed with you if you breastfeed (for what reason I don't know) so until she was ready to wean the girl, she slept in the bed with my wife's cousin. Then, when the time came to wean her and put her in her crib, the child became upset and cried every night until her mom relented and let her back in the bed. Seven years later, she still sleeps in the bed with her mom and dad.

I wish I knew a fool-proof, easy way to get your child to sleep in a crib instead of in the bed with you, but I really don't think there is one.

 

[Enrique]

My wife's cousin found herself in a similar situation. She'd read online somewhere that it's better for the child to sleep in the bed with you if you breastfeed (for what reason I don't know) so until she was ready to wean the girl, she slept in the bed with my wife's cousin.

It's really convenient for a breastfeeding mother to have her baby on the bed with her. My wife breastfed all our children and what she did was to roll over to the baby's side when he or she needed feeding. This was a much easier set-up because it saved my wife time from picking up the baby or going to the baby's room to feed.

Again, per Victor's wife's dilemma, it's either you endure the baby's wails while she's in the crib, or you learn to live with the fact that you have a would-be permanent addition to your bed.

 

[psmith140]

Have you tried getting a night light? I found it worked really well with my youngster. The dim on the wall apparently makes them more tired then the dark and sends them into sleep.

 

[Victor]

I'd never heard that, psmith. I thought it was better to have it as dark as possible than it is to use a nightlight. Do you think something like that would work for night wakings though? Getting the baby to sleep isn't hard if my wife nurses her; it's keeping her asleep that's the issue.

 

[themdno]

I would agree with the night light, however I'm not sure if it would help with night wakings.

The only other thing I could suggest would be some very light music, turned down almost so low you can't hear it. That way it wont wake the baby up, but when the baby does wake up, it wont be sitting in silence.

 

[Victor]

The music isn't a bad idea. She likes her musical seahorse but it shuts off after 5 minutes and her sleep sheep (white noise) shuts off after 20 minutes. Perhaps she needs something that plays all night.

 

[themdno]

Give it a try, it may help. That be awesome if it did. It seems like it could help, because without that, or the night light, there's just no sensory input, you know? It's just 'I'm here, and nothing is happening.'

 

[Victor Leigh]

Generally speaking, if the baby is still breast-feeding, it's very much easier for the baby to sleep on the same bed with the mother. Then when the time comes for weaning, the weaning from sleeping in the same bed can be done at the same pace as the weaning from breast-feeding. Gradually. With longer and longer intervals.