So how do you feel about that?

[Daniel]

My son is attending a Montessori school and one of the things they do there is they don't praise and say "GREAT JOB" for everything. They say something like "You just built that tower, how did that make you feel" and then they let the kids praise themselves. They say they do this so that kids will look inward for approval rather than constantly seeking it from others.

Interesting approach.

 

[OrionH]

I think the theory of seeking approval from yourself instead of others is a good theory. At the same time I think children should seek approval from adults to a certain extent.

 

[benben]

I agree, my niece doesn't seek approval from others, she doesn't really care what people think. At the same time too much approval seeking behavior is proven to be unhealthy. There has to be a balance.

 

[Alistair]

I've read some things about this Montessori approach during my pedagogy courses, in my Master's program, but I don't quite agree with a complete lack of verbal stimulation and approval. I wouldn't give my children to such a school. I mean, what can they learn from this approach? That they should feel good about their successes despite everyone else's indifference?

 

[Daniel]

Alistair, Perhaps what you learn in your courses and the way it works in practice are quite different. If a child is having a hard time with this, they change it up to something like "You just built the tower, I'll bet you're proud of yourself"

And to answer your question as to what they can learn from this approach, I think that learning that they should feel good about their successes despite indifference from the outside is a positive thing.

 

[Salazar]

My wife went to a Montessori school and she is now looking into a Montessori school for our daughter. She is still friends with several people she went to Montessori with and they all have their kids in Montessori schools. I think that speaks volumes.

 

[Blake]

I've read some things about this Montessori approach during my pedagogy courses, in my Master's program, but I don't quite agree with a complete lack of verbal stimulation and approval. I wouldn't give my children to such a school. I mean, what can they learn from this approach? That they should feel good about their successes despite everyone else's indifference?

I agree with this. I also think there are some things that it might encourage kids to be proud about things they shouldn't be proud of. Self-esteem is great but I think there is such a thing as having too much pride despite the indifference of others.

 

[Verny]

I agree with building up self-esteem but it should be balanced. In the business world, the comments of your boss matter and if you feel proud about your job even though your boss doesn't approved of it then will affect your job.

 

[TJoel]

My son is attending a Montessori school and one of the things they do there is they don't praise and say "GREAT JOB" for everything. They say something like "You just built that tower, how did that make you feel" and then they let the kids praise themselves. They say they do this so that kids will look inward for approval rather than constantly seeking it from others.

Interesting approach.

Yeah, it is an interesting approach. I also heard that in a Montessori school they limit themselves to say 'no' to kids, as negative feedback can be a stumbling block to learning.

 

[Mel]

I think there is a fine line between self-esteem and ego. Some people naturally have more of one or the other. The key is to create a balance between the two. How do they ensure that??

 

[Johnson]

I love the Montessori approach to learning and have been looking into local Montessori schools for when our kids get a little older. Honestly, anything is better than the public school memorize it, test it and move on approach where individuality is certainly not praised and often discouraged. When children are allowed to learn in this way they don't need your praise every 5 seconds because they are much more comfortable with who they are and what they have done.