I hear people say those words and it drives me crazy. If people took more time to think before words came pouring out of their mouths, there would be far less conflict in the world. I just remember my mom always saying "say what you mean and mean what you say". I guess I took it to heart.
That's not what I meant
- Thread starter BigPapa
- Start date
flfsurveyor
New Member
Sometimes, the mouth is faster than the brain.
But also, sometimes the listener has stopped listening and has started composing his reply in his mind, thus not really hearing the entire message.
A conversation is one the best instances for showing respect. We think before we speak so the other person understand what we are saying. And, we wait for the other person to finish talking before we think of our reply, so we understand what they are saying.
There is also nothing wrong with asking for clarification although sometimes our pride gets in the way.
But also, sometimes the listener has stopped listening and has started composing his reply in his mind, thus not really hearing the entire message.
A conversation is one the best instances for showing respect. We think before we speak so the other person understand what we are saying. And, we wait for the other person to finish talking before we think of our reply, so we understand what they are saying.
There is also nothing wrong with asking for clarification although sometimes our pride gets in the way.
This is no excuse for those who do this, but I also put some of the blame on the english language. Compared to most other languages in the world, it's very limited. We have less words to kick around so being misunderstood is easier to do in english. For example, many languages have different words to describe the same thing in a different contet. English doesn't have much of that going around.
FrankSinatra
New Member
My wife says it all the time and I get so pissed off...I have told her many times that she needs to learn some new vocabulary then because she uses words invorrectly and then goes, "that's not what I meant."
Exactly. I think people really say what they mean to say. It's just sometimes, even when they didn't want you to hear it, their tongues slip so their only excuse is to tell you that it was not what they meant.
I could not agree more! I hear it from my wife all the time and it is because she just blurts out what she wants to say without thinking about the context in which she says it. She honestly doesn't try to be hurtful though, she calls it "keeping it real". I tell her you can keep it real without being mean or hurtful, whether it is intentional or not.
R. Paradon
New Member
I hear and say that phrase too many times, but since I am an America living in Thailand, many times I say the wrong thing! Back in the States I was articulate and had no communication problems. Over here, words such as "ma" may have many meanings...dog, horse, and come. All depends on where the tone is at. Fortunately for me, Thai people have a great sense of humor!