Have you ever been in the situation where you found out that your kid is secretly like that stereotypical movie bully? Picking on smaller kids, starting fights, stealing things, smoking and drinking and generally being rude to everyone? What's the proper way to go about handling that?
What do you do when you find out your kid is kind of a jerk?
- Thread starter writer811
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I saw they actually have the be a star campaign against bullying. Our kids school is really strict about it, I am talking suspension for threats and such so the first thing is there may be consequences that our generation did not deal with. Second maybe talk to him and see what is behind it? Usually bullies have self esteem issues, there might be a reason behind it. When I found my son (who is the smallest kid in school) was bullying, he was manipulating people not as smart as he is. Hes only 7 so I made him play with the other kids and really get to know them one on one. I think it taught him something but who knows.
flfsurveyor
New Member
You may have to take some time to really observe and confirm your kid's behavior. But, you will have to talk to him about it, sooner than later. Sure, there's the risk that they will 'rebel', it really depends on how you handle things. Just remember that you are doing the disciplining because you love your kids and you don't want him to become a full-blown jerk.
I have never had this issue before thankfully and I am not sure what I would do if this had happened. I guess we have been a little lucky with our kids, now the grand-babies that is another story. I have a feeling that one just might fit the mold and he is starting school this year.
Children are almost always a direct reflection of their parents and caregivers. Maybe you or your wife portray that sort of image or act aggressively without realizing it. I tend to give off that bad boy image but Im not really like that. When my son started emulating that sort of image it was a very rude awakening to me.
ghanashyam
New Member
I earnestly believe a child is what his parents have made him. A child which is doing unnatural things had not been given enough love and affection at home ( when parents themselves are fighting or the father himself is a smoker and abusive)
I believe a child behaving nastily should be addressed with parental counselling.
I believe a child behaving nastily should be addressed with parental counselling.
Niceness8000
New Member
I don't know - that's a good question. Hopefully you can see it coming, but if not, then changing the behavior is going to take a while. You first have to find out why he feels the need to bully other kids. You may need professional help for that. If you can figure than part out, maybe there are activities that he can get involved that will channel his energies away from bullying.
This is a great question. And fortunately I haven't had to think about it, but now that I do, I think that most things can be fixed with some good, healthy communication and an open forum. Most of the time, bullies have a deeper reason as to why they do it. Maybe he is feeling unfulfilled in an area in his life and just doesn't know how to act it out properly yet or is having trouble finding an outlet. It is probably different for each case, so it is best to find the source. If the problem persists, I suggest for you to seek professional help for him before the problem gets worse. I wish you and your family good luck.
I know my nephew is a little young at 5 years old to be considered a jerk, so I'll just call him a brat. But it really is my sister-in-law's and my brother-in-law's fault. They let him get away with murder. This kid has more toys than Toys 'R' Us, eats crap food because that's what he wants and the only thing he'll eat, hits people and barely gets scolded for it. My sister-in-law will threaten to spank him and he'll laugh because he knows 9 times out of 10 that she won't. It is so frustrating to watch because you just want to give the kid one good kick in the rear after a couple of hours of him running around our house breaking things, jumping on the furniture after being told numerous times not to, torturing our dog and laughing about it, etc... There is only so much a person can take. I tell you, that kid would not be acting like that if he were my son.
Well, not even half way through his first week of kindergarten this week he got called into the principal's office for punching a kid in the face. Eveyone in our family called it, too, although, we thought it would take about 2 weeks for the call.
The thing that irks my wife and I the most is my sister-in-law expects the school to whip her son into shape, because she is so tired of "trying". I love my nephew, but she had him later in life at 42 and uses the excuse that she's too tired to get up to dicipline him. If you're too tired to get off your butt and dicipline him each and every time he misbehaves, maybe you should have thought twice about having another kid. You aren't doing him any favors by letting him think he's king of the world.
Well, not even half way through his first week of kindergarten this week he got called into the principal's office for punching a kid in the face. Eveyone in our family called it, too, although, we thought it would take about 2 weeks for the call.
The thing that irks my wife and I the most is my sister-in-law expects the school to whip her son into shape, because she is so tired of "trying". I love my nephew, but she had him later in life at 42 and uses the excuse that she's too tired to get up to dicipline him. If you're too tired to get off your butt and dicipline him each and every time he misbehaves, maybe you should have thought twice about having another kid. You aren't doing him any favors by letting him think he's king of the world.
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My son isn't a jerk but for some reason he is the butt of everyone's joke and jabs. He comes home with a black eye or no shoes. We've been to the school many times but it doesn't seem to get any better. Honestly, I've thought about yanking him out of public school and putting him in a Christian school.
joeldgreat
New Member
At first I had to assess ourselves as a parent. In what aspect of raising our kid that went wrong? It is because your kids is somehow a reflection of you as parent. Anything you teach your kids during their younger years will eventually becomes the kid of the present.
- do we let our kids watch violent scenes on movies.
- do we pamper them to be a "spoiled brat".
- do we let our kids watch or heard us when we are quarreling.
- do we let them play computer games with a violent theme.
- etc.etc.
If one of the answer to these question is "yes", then we should try to correct it by redirecting our kids attitude to do the good thing. Otherwise, we will end up going to the principals office or guidance office every now and then. Or worst, we may not able to pinpoint the cause of our kids behavioral problem.
- do we let our kids watch violent scenes on movies.
- do we pamper them to be a "spoiled brat".
- do we let our kids watch or heard us when we are quarreling.
- do we let them play computer games with a violent theme.
- etc.etc.
If one of the answer to these question is "yes", then we should try to correct it by redirecting our kids attitude to do the good thing. Otherwise, we will end up going to the principals office or guidance office every now and then. Or worst, we may not able to pinpoint the cause of our kids behavioral problem.