What if the kids favor the Mother?

[popsmcnitt]

My son favors my wife over me. We are in the process of divorcing. We still live together but I imagine that my wife will win custody of my son. I'm not sure why my son favors his Mother's company to mine but I am hurt by it. He even says it out loud in front of both of us which makes me embarrassed and angry. How am I supposed to handle these feelings?

 

[Timeless]

I'm sorry to hear that popsmcnitt. How old is your son? Children tend to favor the most pliable person. When my wife and I argue they always defend her, so it may be in their nature. I try not to take it personally and it's not easy. Have you tried sitting down and talking to your son about this?

 

[popsmcnitt]

My son is 12. I feel like all young boys have an Oedipus complex though they never admit it. I know I did when I was around that age. He's always sticking up for his Mother no matter what. I did try to sit down and talk with him but he won't take the discussion very far. He says he loves me and won't really say much more than that. I'm pretty hard on him. I think he favors his Mother's laissez-faire style of parenting.

 

[Christian]

Even if your son favors his mother it doesn't mean that you can't apply for joint custody in the divorce. I am pretty sure most state's don't allow the child's input until they are 13 or older.

 

[Victor]

I am sorry; that must be very difficult for you. I know kids go through preference stages when they are young but I'm not sure if that happens when they are older too.

Christian is right, however. There is no reason you can't apply for joint custody of your son.

 

[DeputyDad]

By the time he gets a little older, and into the teen years, he'll be needing more of his dad. Just make sure you never let him see that you have bad feelings towards his mother and keep him out of the middle. Consider that you are doing something right when a 12 year old boy respects and loves his mother. That's a good thing, right?