Wife is Dieting

[Timothy]

My wife has decided to go on that Slim Fast diet for a while to try and drop the last of her "baby weight". While I don't think my wife necessarily "needs" to lose weight, if it makes her happy or makes her feel better about herself, I want to encourage her. The problem is, I feel like if I DO encourage her, it might confuse her and make her think that I think she needs to lose weight. How can I be encouraging of what she wants and does while making it clear that I like her just the way she is?

Have you ever been in my position?

 

[BigPapa]

I have and it is a tough line to walk. Just let her know that you think she is perfect but if it makes her feel good to diet/exercise/etc, you are proud of her. Good luck with that and I hope that she doesn't think you are telling her she is overweight.

 

[Babar]

Tell it to her straight that you find her beautiful, but if she'd like extra help or support, you're there for her for whatever she needs. I find this is the best approach, because brushing off a woman's weight concerns can be problematic as well.

 

[Victor Leigh]

Why don't you join her on the diet plan? That's a very simple way of showing your support for her. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[Dan]

That is a fine line especially in my family because my mother-in-law is extremely overweight and so both my wife and her sister are paranoid about gaining too much. I just keep my mouth shut.

 

[JCJ]

Why don't you join her on the diet plan? That's a very simple way of showing your support for her. Actions speak louder than words.

This is the best solution in my experience. Joining in is a great way to show support and there's no way she could interpret that as you agreeing that she needs to lose weight. I think we all can agree that is a bad idea.

You said she's doing the Slim-Fast diet. Been there, done that myself. I know this is drifting slightly off-topic, but perhaps you two could check out the Paleo diet (or Primal Blueprint)? Much healthier than any shake-based diet. No counting calories/carbs/anything. Very easy for us guys to stick to as well since there's an abundance of meat-eating involved. I've been doing it myself for seven months and managed normal blood sugar, lower blood pressure, and I'm 50LB lighter.

 

[Andersson]

Run away! My lady was always grumpy when the D word came up. I did always keep her in my thoughts and helped to encourage her when I could but sometimes you have to just let the ladies do what they want to and stay out of their way. Better safe than sorry.

 

[Don]

I have found from experience that you really have to walk the line between what you think is supportive and what she thinks is supportive. The worst mistake I ever made? We were eating out and she wanted dessert. I asked her if she really needed it. I meant that she would be blowing her diet and was it worth it, but she didn't take it that way. I've walked on eggshells on that subject ever since.

 

[polamalu43]

You tell her that you love her and think she is perfect. You also tell her that you will support her in whatever she chooses to do. I have been in this position and that is what I did. It worked wonderful.

 

[Victor Leigh]

Run away! My lady was always grumpy when the D word came up. I did always keep her in my thoughts and helped to encourage her when I could but sometimes you have to just let the ladies do what they want to and stay out of their way. Better safe than sorry.

Is it really that bad? I mean, does your little lady bite people when she's on a diet? So where do you suggest running to? How about a few rounds around the park?

 

[Michael]

I'm in the opposite position. I need to diet myself, but my wife doesn't. I've tried the milkshake route, but then we go out and my diet goes out the window. She likes going out to eat often, and we always go to her favorite restaurants. I wish she would join me, but I can't see that happening.

 

[JRDeep]

My wife has decided to go on that Slim Fast diet for a while to try and drop the last of her "baby weight". While I don't think my wife necessarily "needs" to lose weight, if it makes her happy or makes her feel better about herself, I want to encourage her. The problem is, I feel like if I DO encourage her, it might confuse her and make her think that I think she needs to lose weight. How can I be encouraging of what she wants and does while making it clear that I like her just the way she is?

Have you ever been in my position?

Kinda. I told my wife she doesn't need to lose weight, she disagreed, than then nothing happened. If she had decided to follow through with it, I would have tried to support her for sure, as I could stand to shed some pounds myself, but thankfully she subconsciously agreed with me.

Potential crisis averted!

 

[BigDaddy]

Man I agree with whoever said run! Its such a double edged sword. Your going to damned if you do and damned if you dont so pick your battles wisely. I wouldnt use the weight word instead Id say you look slimmer here and ask if she thinks so too.

 

[R. Paradon]

If my wife would bring up the subject of dieting I would just say I don't think you need to but if you want to lose a few pounds (few pounds is safer than saying 10 or 15 pounds) I think I will join with you!

 

[Victor]

I have found from experience that you really have to walk the line between what you think is supportive and what she thinks is supportive. The worst mistake I ever made? We were eating out and she wanted dessert. I asked her if she really needed it. I meant that she would be blowing her diet and was it worth it, but she didn't take it that way. I've walked on eggshells on that subject ever since.

Oops. I can see how that went badly. It sounds like something I would do.

Whenever my wife wants to lose weight, I do as others here. I tell her I think she's beautiful and desirable, but if losing the weight will make her happy, then I will support her efforts.

 

[Foster]

My wife constantly goes on about needing to lose the last of her baby weight. I always say to her that it is up to her if she wants to lose it and I will support her in doing so but that she doesn't need to do it for me.

 

[FrankSinatra]

Women are super *****y when they diet so no matter what you are wrong. Even if you are right...you are wrong. Learn to live with it, drink more alcohol, and call it a night.

 

[edvisual]

My wife has decided to go on that Slim Fast diet for a while to try and drop the last of her "baby weight". While I don't think my wife necessarily "needs" to lose weight, if it makes her happy or makes her feel better about herself, I want to encourage her. The problem is, I feel like if I DO encourage her, it might confuse her and make her think that I think she needs to lose weight. How can I be encouraging of what she wants and does while making it clear that I like her just the way she is?

Have you ever been in my position?

I always tell her that she doesn't need a diet and she looks very well like this (she's not fat at all but still, you know women..), but if she wants to maintain her weight go for the diet

 

[youngone]

Simply by tell her you are happy with the way she is but you will support her if that's what she wants. You are obviously a caring and considerate husband, she is lucky to have you.

 

[Victor Leigh]

Maybe we should be taking a good look at ourselves in the mirror. We may be the ones who need to go on a weight loss program. However, don't do it all of a sudden. Some women are always ready to suspect something fishy when their husbands start trying to look better.