Wife's Boyfriend

[Daddy-O]

So my wife and I are seperated because I found her cheating on me with this guy. Well, her and this guy (and my twelve year old daughter) live together. He's on disability and buys my daughter anything she wants (new furniture for her room, game systems, clothes, etc.). I don't have the money to buy her everything she wants, and this puts me in a bad spot. I know he's trying to buy her love, but it still makes me look like a loser. What do I do?

 

[Richie]

I know it's easy for me to say but I really believe that at 12 your daughter knows the difference between the two of you. Just maintain your relationship and keep on being a good father, because that connection is vital to her.

 

[greatdad]

Richie is right. She knows the difference between you two. At twelve, she's also smart enough to use the boyfriend's willingness to buy her things to her advantage. I hope it doesn't come as a shock to him when he wakes up and realizes that love can't be bought.

 

[Daddy-O]

Thanks guys, I hope you're right. My daughter and I are getting closer; as a matter of fact, she finally agreed to go to lunch with me. I'm not a bad person, but my daughter has, I'm sure, received lots of coaching from my wife and her boyfriend. Maybe she's starting the see that the real me isn't as bad as everyone says.

 

[CoolFather]

If I were you, I would try to have a talk with my daughter about this issue that bothers you. At twelve, she should be able to understand the importance of love and family relationships. You could go as far as asking her if she loves her stepfather, or if his lack of money influenced her feelings for you in any way...

 

[jason]

Money cannot replace love and time. Show her plenty of that, and she will see the difference.

Do not bad mouth the ex, or things in her life in front of her, but just spend time and love her.