Worried about my brother

[JakeJ]

My brother and his wife are having some marriage problems, which is news to me. I had no clue that there was anything wrong until he called round the other day to tell me. He has a son aged 7 and is concerned about the possibility of a divorce, and of course of the effects on the child.

I suggested they seek counselling before thinking of divorce and would like to get some advice on fathers here on this. Do you think intervention at an early stage of your marriage breakdown may have saved the relationship?

 

[Aiden]

I think it's important for them to work on the marriage if that's what they truly want to do. It is going to be a waste of time if they really don't want to be as committed as you think. They need to be completely honest with themselves and decide where their relationship is truly going.

 

[Salazar]

It just depends on them. My ex and I got help early on and we still ended up getting divorced. Her idea of working on things was for her to stay the same and for me to completely change. Like Aiden said, they need to make the decision to work on it, if that's what they want to do, and they need to make the commitment. Support from family and friends during this time is important, but you can't make them get help.

 

[KrazyRon]

Salazar, you are entirely correct. You can make all the changes in yourself, but if the other partner doesn't make changes, you may as well forget it and go ahead with the divorce. I can't understand though, why someone would keep doing the same things and then expect a different result.

 

[Zebeddee]

Personally I don't think it makes a massive difference when you get help and advice. I've seen marriages come through some incredibly bad times and be repaired afterwards. In my case the cracks were there from the start. We just chose to ignore them!