As I get ready to walk out the door, with baby daughter in tow, my wife hands me “the diaper bag“. Does she really think I feel comfortable carrying this pink, frilly feminine thing? Come on now, I am playing babysitter, the least she can do is find an appropriate diaper bag that is not going to get me laughed at! Of course, at 6’4 and 280 lbs maybe I do not have to worry about that happening.
Our first stop is going shopping for one of those diaper bags for Dads. I had no idea I could choose from such a variety. You can tell I am not used to doing this type of shopping; normally the wife handles this.
I need one of those new messenger style bags, which does not look like a diaper bag at all. The top flap closes and covers everything inside and all the exterior pockets have closing flaps, so no one knows that there is all the paraphernalia in there to take care of a little “dude” or “dude-ette.” Since I am all into this “green living, ecology, save the planet stuff”, I particularly like the ones that are made of recyclable materials. A nice solid, navy blue, black, gray or brown would be nice.
I looked at the ones that are like a backpack, but if I have a crying baby that wants her bottle right now, can you imagine the trouble I might have trying to get that off my back in a hurry? With my luck, while grabbing it, I’d fumble around, drop the bottle and even though made out of plastic, it would explode! But then again, some men might like this style but I think I will keep looking.
Most diaper bags will have insulated compartments to keep bottles chilled, a place to stash food and wipes as well as a changing pad and plenty of extra diapers and a change of clothes. I also want one that has large openings on all of those smaller pockets. As a man, with larger hands, it is not always easy to reach down inside and grab that pacifier that is wedged down in the very corner at the bottom of the pocket.
On second thought, perhaps I need one that looks like a small duffle bag. For some reason, girls need more “stuff” and heaven help me, this bag looks like I am taking her on a two week trip rather than for just a couple of hours.
There are clothes, blankets, diapers, you name it stuffed in here.
I also want a bag where I can chunk my cell phone into an outside pocket where it is easy to get to when it rings. There is nothing worse than trying to hold onto a wiggling baby, a diaper bag that is sliding off your shoulder, to locate that ringing phone before the person on the other end hangs up. With my luck, it would be the wife, calling to see how we are getting along and when I did not answer, she would go into panic attack mode.
Quite honestly, I would even like to have a second diaper bag, one that is made out of camouflage material that I could take when we go to the park or ball field. I would not have to worry about getting it dirty. After all, the wife has three or four of these things, to go with her various outfits. Guess I will leave the sporting goods department and head back to the baby department; I did not need a new fishing pole anyway!