It’s not easy being a dad under the best of circumstances. There’s always so much to consider. Planing for your child’s future while ensuring his present day needs are met can be a full time job in itself. Of course finding quality time to spend with your kids while juggling your own hectic work schedule can add to the mounting pressure.
What happens however, when you are a divorced dad whose child lives a hundred miles away? Knowing how to make the most of your time with your kids and endeavor to be a full-time dad when you see your children part-time can be tricky. It doesn’t have to be that way. All you need is some ingenuity and forethought, and everything else will fall into place.
If the kids live with their mother and you can only get to spend time with them one or two weekends each month, no doubt you want to make the most of that time you have together. This begins by being there for your child, even when you can’t be there physically. Being involved in your child’s life can be a reality even in a long-distance relationship. This reality begins by listening.
Don’t forget your child is just a phone call away. Let him know that you are there for him at all times. Ask questions pertaining to his life and really listen to what he has to say. Give him a phone call out of the blue just to let him know that you’re thinking of him, or because you want to see if he needs help with his new math assignment. It’s going to mean more than you realize. Better still, call him to share a story, a good joke and a good laugh.
Being a good parent is not simply about living in the same house with your children. Unfortunately, many so-called ‘full-time’ dads who live with their kids are not truly there for them at all. Do you see the point and logic behind this? You can be the best dad on earth in your child’s eyes because you are there for him in the most important way.
Everyone knows that being a great dad is a two way street of communication. While you are asking your child about his life and activities, don’t forget to share your own daily activities with your kid. He’ll love hearing all about a day in the life of the most important guy around. More so, he’ll appreciate and respect that you care so much to want to share every aspect of your life, especially in your absence.
If your schedule often has you forgetful of small details, this is one area you may want to work on where your kids are concerned. A good idea would be to jot down little reminders, such as important dates. If your child informs you of a crucial upcoming function or event he wants you to be part of, or something special which is about to happen for him, the last thing you want to do is let it slip your mind. Takes notes if you must.
Another great way to enrich your long-distance relationship is by the use of a webcam! If you both have Internet connection, this can be a fun way to share and be a part of your child’s life. It’s the next best thing to being there, because you can see each others’ reactions as it happens in real time.
Don’t ever lose sight of what being a great dad is all about. It’s about love, patience, understanding and giving. Not in the monetary or material sense of giving, but giving of yourself. Listening and sharing is truly the best gift you can offer your child.