Okay Dads, you found out your darling child has been drinking. Even if they are actually a screwball, they will be referred to as a darling child. Work with me here, okay?. Now, they either got brought home by the cops, or you just found out on your own. Depending on how it came to your attention really does affect how you should deal with it.
If the cops are involved, I really wouldn’t interfere. Be supportive of your kid of course, but it was their choice. Let them deal with the consequences. I know in my state first offenses are generally only a fine. If you pay the fine, do not simply just pay it and forget about it. Your child was drinking underage and got caught. The fact that they got caught is proof of irresponsible behavior. Make them either pay the fine, or better yet pay the fine and then severely curtail their freedoms. I’m not just talking taking away a cell phone, I mean limiting or eliminating time on line, grounding them with a list of things that they will do around the house ect until the fine is paid back to you in full. Harsh? Well, you are a Dad. Your job is not to be your teenagers best friend, it is to be their father. Sometimes that means being the bad guy. I would pound it into their head that all of the new “evil” dad rules are because THEY got brought home by the cops. Get them to admit and accept responsibility and you’ll be halfway to solving the problem.
Now if you had the good fortune to find out on your own, without the authorities getting involved, you have a few more options on how to approach the issue. Some of it is going to depend on you but also on your child. Depending on your own views to alcohol, certain approaches are going to be more or less viable. Without the big stick of the authorities, I’d urge against a harsh crackdown. IF you can, be non-confrontational and find out how much and how often they are drinking. If it was just an isolated incident, you’re in luck. Being able to make responsible decisions is one of the most important things you can give your child. Alcohol is just likely to be abused by a thirty year old as it is by a sixteen year old and the thirty year old has a lot more access.
Talk to them candidly about drinking. If you are like most of us, you enjoy a beer, a glass of wine or a bit of hard liquor from time to time. the most important thing is don’t fall for the do as I say, not as I do brand of hypocrisy. Teenagers are rebellious and contrary by nature, we were all like that at one point. Might be a little hard to remember through the hormones, but don’t forget that you too were just like them. Your major, in fact only concern should be equipping them to leave the nest, successfully. There isa time and a place for everything, and that place is college. you’ve heard that quip, or ones like it. Underage drinking and partying is a huge part of college. Take this chance to really talk to your kid, and make the effort to get through to them about responsible drinking. And when I say talk, I mean have a conversation. Don’t just lecture. Sit down and talk to them, if you think it will help, do it with drinks in hand.
Responsible drinking isn’t just not over indulging. It is knowing who you are drinking with, where you are going to be, even where has your drink been. Date rape is a major concern, and if you have daughters, should be a concern of yours. Educate and teach your kid. That is part of your job after all Dads.