How To Survive Shopping With Your Wife

Any guy can go shopping with his wife, but it takes a real expert to stay out of the dog house when he gets home. Shopping at the mall or grocery store can be a tiring experience, all the more taxing when you fail to steer clear of the bumps in the road. By following a few simple tips, it can be smooth sailing at the next Sidewalk Sale at the mall.

1. I Am Useful
When your wife enjoys your company for running errands and picking up food or clothing, she is opting for time with her man instead of calling a girlfriend. You work all week and may not have the quality relationship time you crave, so the shopping mall may be the next best thing to a romantic date. Drive the car carefully, find the premium parking by the elevators and remember that you make a dandy package porter by the time you hit the fourth store. Your usefulness and utility is worth hugs and kisses and a valuable service that no gal pal could ever fill.

2. My Opinions Count
When she asks you if you like this dress or does my butt look big in these jeans, answer with all the honesty that you see fit. She has been buying clothes on her own since the age of 13, however, you are the most important person in her life and she wants to please you. Don’t take the rapid fire questions as a sign of weakness or indecision, but rather, bask in the ego stroking affirmation that only your opinion counts.

3. I Notice Price Tags
When shopping with your wife, especially when it’s for a big event, be strong and lead the way with keeping your purchases within budget. She may become emotional over an item that is financially out of bounds, and someone has to step up to the plate and take charge. In a cordial way, and I mean in the nicest of ways, remind her of your monthly obligations and that you have high hopes to keep looking for something a littler simpler and easier to finance. In the end, she will see your wisdom and appreciate your fiscal restraint to not let the spending get out of hand.

4. Let’s Eat
To break up your day-long shopping cycle, be sure to be on the lookout for a clean and decent place to eat. She might not say she’s hungry, but if your stomach is growling, her’s is at least a grunt. By taking time out to eat, you are telling her that you are enjoying your day out and wish to get some protein to power up for the big finish. If she is not done shopping, you have two choices: stop for a lunch with intent to continue, or be castigated for wanting to go home early.

5. Call Me Later, Buddy
Shopping with your wife demands your full and undivided attention, ready to jump in with ideas and comments on every aisle. You don’t want to be chatting with your buddies on the cell phone and disrespecting her company and time invested into you. Leave the phone in the trunk and focus on your task at hand. This small concession can make her feel special for the day instead of taking a number to compete for your time and affection. If it’s a business call, try to wrap it up quickly and remember who really loves you and where you will be sleeping tonight.