Keys of Being a Father

The Keys to Being a Good Father are relatively simple, but that does not necessarily make them easy to follow. Many men overlook these keys or just don’t understand what is expected of them when they become a parent for the first time. It has often been said that men can be rather child-like in their actions, such as with a strong propensity for video games or a love of various electronic gadgets and “toys”, and while this can help create a bond with children (because they may enjoy the same kinds of activities), this can also be where a father gets into trouble when it comes to matters of parenthood because this type of man may not meet a child’s needs. Enjoying video games and gadgets is not necessarily a bad thing, but overindulgence here, as with anything else, is not a good idea. On the other hand, those who are not interested in childish things are often too grown up to allow the children to be children, which can create an emotional barrier between father and child.

The man who enjoys toys and games overly much, just as in the case of a young child, will many times put his own wants and needs ahead of others’ without really thinking about it. It isn’t necessarily that he cares more about himself than he cares about others. In fact, it may just be that others’ needs may sincerely never have occurred to him. This can be anything from keeping the child from his or her favorite television program (often while doing nothing more than channel surfing) to forcing a child into an activity the father prefers rather than the one the child enjoys and/or is better at performing. Therefore, perhaps the primary Key to Being a Good Father is Put Your Child’s Needs First. This is paramount to having a good relationship with your child in later years. Another Key related to this one is Pay Attention to Your Child. That is the only way to know what your child’s needs and desires are, after all.

For the man who has put away all childish things, though, recognizing what a child needs can be equally hard. Any behavior by the child which is not of a serious nature may be perceived to be “foolish” or “weak” and the father may be viewed by the child as a dour authority figure, incapable of love or affection. Children need to be allowed to express their emotions, including the joy that can come from acting silly, and they benefit when parents express their emotions, too. Obviously, we all learn how to moderate our emotions for appropriate situations, so there are times when asking a child to keep his or her emotions in check is necessary, in order to teach a child what is socially acceptable behavior. For example, if a father joins in with the silly behavior for a time before saying “Ok, that is enough silliness for now”, then a boundary has been set. The child learns there are limits, without feeling repressed. Other Keys then are Allow Freedom of Expression (within limits) and Be Emotionally Available.

In order to be the best kind of father then, it is important to Be Neither Too Grown Up Nor Too Childish. A man will need to Find the Balance Between Responsibility and Fun. A father must Know When to be a Friend and When to be a Disciplinarian. All these things are not just Keys to Being a Father, but Keys to Being the Best Father. Following all these steps can help create a child who grows into a stable, well-rounded adult, as well as they may help secure a future relationship with your child based on mutual respect and love.