How to Get Along with Your Ex When There are Children Involved

Exercising common courtesy and being respectful are two of the most important things you should do to get along with others. Being respectful eliminates friction between yourself and others, and people are more likely to respect you if you are respectful of them. Respect is especially important in dealing with people you’ve quarreled with in the past, particularly an ex-girlfriend or an ex-spouse. If you have children, you should try to set a good example for them by being courteous and respectful. Try using the following tips to get along with an ex that you share children with.

Respect Deadlines
It is important to meet deadlines where your child and ex are concerned. For example, you may be allowed to spend time with your child on designated days or holidays. If so, then make sure that you are on time to pick them up and that you return them to your ex at the time agreed upon. This shows your ex that you are responsible and that you respect their time. It also shows your children that you want to spend time with them. Being late or not showing up is damaging to a child’s self esteem. It may make them feel unwanted, or they may feel that you don’t value them as much as you value other things in your life. Being late will also anger your ex. If they have to wait around for you to honor your promises and agreements, then it makes them feel that you don’t value their time. It is also important to be respectful of other deadlines, such as child support deadlines. Paying child support on time is one of the most important ways to financially support your child.

Respect Your Ex’s Privacy
When you split with an ex, your ties are normally severed. However, if you have children, then you must continue to communicate with your ex. One of the most important things to remember is that you haven’t severed any ties with the child, but you have severed some ties with the adult. While you are entitled to know all of the minute details of your child’s life, you are not entitled to know everything that goes on with your ex. For example, if your ex starts dating someone new, you should meet this new person because they may actually act as a guardian for your child at some point. You want to know that your child is safe with this person, but don’t pry too deep into the life of your ex’s new lover. In general, you should find out about your ex’s new family dynamic. Is your child comfortable with this new person? Is this person a good role model for your child?

While the above questions are excellent ones to consider, do not question your spouse about their sex life or relationship milestones. The conversation will most likely turn awkward, and they may feel that your questions are irrelevant and embarrassing. Besides, you are not entitled to receive answers to such questions. You should only question things that directly affect your child.

Everyone’s situation with their ex is different. Some people feel comfortable sharing information and asking intimate questions, and some do not. However, being shy or guarded with an ex does not mean that every conversation will be awkward. Showing respect for your ex should ease much of the tension that exists between you.