Child wants to go to friends house

[Andy]

One of my daughters has decided that she is missing out going to sleep overs because she has to have visitation with me. She wants to have her weekends to herself.

Would you let her go to her friends instead of coming to your house for visitation?

 

[Daffy]

That's a hard question to answer. If you just get every other weekend, why don't you suggest that she bring her girlfriend with her to your house? That would kill two birds with one stone and you would still get your visitation.

 

[AdoptedDad]

I would think that in that situation, it would be best for her to spend the night with her friend when she is not having visitation with you. From what I have seen my friends go through when sharing custody of their children, they do not get near as much time with their children as their ex wives do. So, I would have a talk with her about how much you enjoy your time with her and that since it is limited, perhaps she could go to sleepovers with her friends when it wasn't your weekend to have her.

 

[Andy]

I have tried to discuss it with her but that makes me the "mean" guy. Of course my ex isn't supporting me either. I wouldn't mind having her friends over but I live an hour away, so most parents aren't willing to let their girls stay overnight.

I am just going to have to put my foot down. I hope some day she understands why.

 

[MatthewR]

That is a tough one. I would let her go to a sleepover once in a while. It's your time with her though. How old is she? Why can't she go to a sleepover when it's her moms weekend? How about letting her have a friend over to your place?

 

[Andy]

I would allow her to have a friend come over to my house but because of the distance, the parents aren't that keen on letting their 8 year old stay overnight. She does go to overnights while she is at her mom's but lately, many of the overnights have been on the weekends that she is at my house. I am dealing with it. My solution was to let her go to the sleepover and have mom change weekends with me, but she wouldn't do that. I gave up one weekend already.

 

[KSmith]

I know this probably isn't feasible, but what about the friends having their sleepovers on weekends that you don't have visitation? You could talk to her and tell her how much the time with her means to you, but that you want to work things out so she will be happy. That will make you a real good guy in her eyes instead of being the dad that is spoiling her fun. She could talk to her friends and ask them to have he sleepovers on weekends when she's not with you.

It might not be the solution, but I think it's worth a try.

 

[Jaxon]

That's a tough one guy. How old is your daughter? I would try to meet her halfway and spend as much time with her as I could before letting her do the sleepover thing.

 

[matt456]

A tough one indeed but I guess she is old enough to make her decisions. Sit her down and have a talk. Do not push her to making a decision. Let it be an independent one. You will be shocked a solution will be found.

 

[lamant]

What about being simple with things.

If you have your child this month say the weekends of 7th, 14th, 21st and 28th, and its every other weekend, then you and the ex each forfeit one weekend per parent and the child gets two weekends to choose a sleep over (say at the parents house or the friends) and 2 weekends to spend with whichever parent.