Dad for the first time!

Scooter

New Member
Three years ago I fell in love for the first time. I wish it had happened before I was in my 50s. Of course, it is better for love to come late than never. My fiancée is only in her 30s. I never had children, and I have never been married. She is divorced with three kids. They are 10, 9 and 4 now. I feel quite lost with this whole parenting thing. My fiancée is such a wonderful mother, and sometimes I feel like I am just hanging on by a thread. She doesn't make me feel that way. She is the most loving person I have ever met. Still, I feel so lost! I hope I can find some guidance here. Maybe I can find my way!
 

jason

Administrator
Staff member
Congratulations. Kids are great, and to be honest, it takes some time to learn how to handle them. In time the feeling will go away, and it will be second nature.
 

Scooter

New Member
I hope so. I have tried to share how I feel with my fiancée, but it never goes well. When I try to express how lost I feel she says that she does too. But she has been parenting for a long time, so it is very different for me. Anyway, thanks for the welcome.
 

Lieutenant

New Member
Scooter as I said in the last post to you, your those kid's father. I know that sometimes you get frustrated and just want to crawl in a corner because the noise and yelling and crying but it gets better. Also congrats on finding love, everyone should get the chance to experience it. I'm sure your fiance loves you more and more everyday just for being there for her. She needs your support more than you think even if its just listening to her complain about her day. The good thing is those kids are young still too. You'll get the chance to show them how to be a good person and be there unlike their birth father.
 

Scooter

New Member
Thanks for the words of advice. There are days where the noise, mess and busyness overwhelm me. At first I thought it would all go away as we grew closer together. But it is still noisy, messy and busy! I guess I just need to accept that.
 

Lieutenant

New Member
yes, wait until they are teenagers :). Sometimes you will want to move across the country but you can do handle it. When times get tough take your fiance out on a date and have some you time. Just an hour or two can really make a difference.
 

Donald

New Member
I, too, would be overwhelmed if I'd never been around that many children. We had the one daughter and one grandson, but our families are all close and live here on the farm. There are kids everywhere, and I feel like they are all mine.
 

Lorenzo

New Member
I have five kids and I agree, raising children IS overwhelming at times. But, kudos to you, Scooter for taking in your fiancee's kids and loving them as your own. There is no manual on how to become a dad, just like Lieutenant said, it would become second nature to you, eventually. Just expect that kids can be messy and noisy, but the happiness that they bring to a family is nothing short of perfect.
 

encryptedbytes

New Member
Congratulations! It's a long, tough road as a parent and the responsibility is huge, but it's also the most rewarding, satisfying thing you're likely ever do. You'll learn to feel and have emotions that you've never known before. I just can't describe it, words just don't convey what it's like except maybe to just say "wonderful".
 

Victor Leigh

New Member
Congratulations! You have just discovered the treasures that lie in the other half of the world. A man without a family will never have the chance to experience what you are facing now. And don't let the chance slip by. Those kids are not going to be with you for many years. Make the best of it while they are still at home.
 

Ownageprankers

New Member
I have five kids and I agree, raising children IS overwhelming at times. But, kudos to you, Scooter for taking in your fiancee's kids and loving them as your own. There is no manual on how to become a dad, just like Lieutenant said, it would become second nature to you, eventually. Just expect that kids can be messy and noisy, but the happiness that they bring to a family is nothing short of perfect.

Congratulations! It's a long, tough road as a parent and the responsibility is huge, but it's also the most rewarding, satisfying thing you're likely ever do. You'll learn to feel and have emotions that you've never known before. I just can't describe it, words just don't convey what it's like except maybe to just say "wonderful".
 

Victor Leigh

New Member
So what happened? Hey, keep us updated on developments. Raising children is an adventure in life and living. Let us share in your joys as well.
 

makingloot

New Member
I know that sometimes you get frustrated and just want to crawl in a corner because the noise and yelling and crying but it gets better. Also congrats on finding love, everyone should get the chance to experience it. I'm sure your fiance loves you more and more everyday just for being there for her. She needs your support more than you think even if its just listening to her complain about her day. The good thing is those kids are young still too. You'll get the chance to show them how to be a good person and be there unlike their birth father.
 
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