I am a 1st time expectant father who has been waste deep in my girlfriend's emotional highs/lows. I guess I have been the type who had control (or at least I thought I did) of most aspects of my life. Recently however, this has changed. From the house we are looking to buy, the type of vehicle I have to get for baby, furntiture to you name it has been out of my control. And I completely understand that pregnancy does affect women's hormones, some more than others, but WOW! One day, or one minute things are great, and then next could be disaterous. What is the best advice that anyone can give me on accepting this change and dealing with the fact that its not about me anymore?
Dealing with your partner's emotional highs/lows
- Thread starter Bigboy
- Start date
Victor Leigh
New Member
Welcome to the club, Bigboy. All we can do is just grin and bear it. After all, we can't become pregnant ourselves.
Welcome to the wonderful world of women, Bigboy!! 
Seriously, my wife rides the same emotional roller coaster that yours does, only she's not pregnant. The best piece of advice that I can give you, coming from my experience, is to just let it work itself out, and try to hold your tongue (like Victor said) when it's directed at you.
Seriously, my wife rides the same emotional roller coaster that yours does, only she's not pregnant. The best piece of advice that I can give you, coming from my experience, is to just let it work itself out, and try to hold your tongue (like Victor said) when it's directed at you.
joeldgreat
New Member
I'm married for more than 15 years now and still trying to cope up with emotional difference as husband and wife. One tip is that never give up on your relationship even your on the blink of saying "enough is enough". If you love your partner so deeply, then you will be able to learn to accept both the good as well as the bad traits of her/him.
I suffer big time in this category. My wife is emotional over everything. I am not an emotional guy at all. It is hard for me to connect to her when she is upset. She knows I suck at this. I get really uncomfortable when she starts crying over something.
It is so bad that I am dreading when one of her parents pass because she will become nonfunctional and I will have to figure out how to console her.
It is so bad that I am dreading when one of her parents pass because she will become nonfunctional and I will have to figure out how to console her.
It's really hard being a first-timer, but you'll get the hang of it Just remember that if you are having a difficult time adjusting, how much more your pregnant wife. Patience and understanding are imperative to make it work. Don't worry, all couples go through this phase. Learn and enjoy along the way.
Just remember that if you are having a difficult time adjusting, how much more your pregnant wife. Patience and understanding are imperative to make it work. Don't worry, all couples go through this phase. Learn and enjoy along the way.joeldgreat
New Member
As our buddies have already said above, welcome to the real world. I think you should give some patience about adjusting to your new world. Your not alone anymore, you had to make some difficult adjustments including your girlfriends tantrums. Its all part of being a family man. Learn it and don't stop learning. I think the first two years would be the hardest one.
streakanime
New Member
I feel kind of lucky. My wife has not really had any emotional highs and lows. Given, she does get a little more upset/sad then she usually does. But, she is has yet to reach the other high point of emotions (being angry). She claims she doesn't have it in her to be a mean or angry person. I'm starting to be inclined to agree with her. I've never actually seen her mad, haha.
streakanime
New Member
I don't know... I feel like running off for "hobbies and workshops" all the time would cause more of a problem for me. I can tune her out with my video games if need be, but running off all the time just upsets her. Haha.
Roll with it
Bigboy .. you just have to go with the flow. If you know that her emotions and attitude is much different than it normally is, when she's not expecting, then you have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Put your ego aside, and let her be who she's going to be. Don't put up any resistance. It's kinda like teaching your kid to ride a bike, you give them a little push, then you have to stand back and just do what you can to make sure she doesn't fall.
That's what you have to do with your spouse, just stand back (you've already given her the 'push') and make sure she doesn't fall. If she makes a decision and you know it's emotionally charged, step back, don't fight her on it, and most of the time, if she has time to think about it, and you've put up no resistance, she will realize that she's not made a wise decision and either correct it, or you can go behind the scenes and correct it.
Here's a little example, my ex-wife was a pack-rat, wanted to save every box we got. Initially I would debate with her own it, and she was adamant about keeping the box. What I learned was, don't fight her on it, put the box in the garage as she wished me to do, then, 3-4 weeks later I would throw the box out. No argument, she never realized the box was gone.
If you're wondering why we didn't make it, as I have mentioned, "ex-wife", we were not compatible, but I learned a good deal about being married and about women in general. I have also been able to raise my kids as well, so I didn't have to assume the "every-other-weekend" role.
Bigboy .. you just have to go with the flow. If you know that her emotions and attitude is much different than it normally is, when she's not expecting, then you have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Put your ego aside, and let her be who she's going to be. Don't put up any resistance. It's kinda like teaching your kid to ride a bike, you give them a little push, then you have to stand back and just do what you can to make sure she doesn't fall.
That's what you have to do with your spouse, just stand back (you've already given her the 'push') and make sure she doesn't fall. If she makes a decision and you know it's emotionally charged, step back, don't fight her on it, and most of the time, if she has time to think about it, and you've put up no resistance, she will realize that she's not made a wise decision and either correct it, or you can go behind the scenes and correct it.
Here's a little example, my ex-wife was a pack-rat, wanted to save every box we got. Initially I would debate with her own it, and she was adamant about keeping the box. What I learned was, don't fight her on it, put the box in the garage as she wished me to do, then, 3-4 weeks later I would throw the box out. No argument, she never realized the box was gone.
If you're wondering why we didn't make it, as I have mentioned, "ex-wife", we were not compatible, but I learned a good deal about being married and about women in general. I have also been able to raise my kids as well, so I didn't have to assume the "every-other-weekend" role.
Isabellas2007
New Member
With these you just have to grin and bear it. I know it can be difficult to do, but this is what you are going to have to do if you want to have a great time and relationship. Remember the hormones will be totally off in her head so anything you say can be taken the wrong way.
micromachne
New Member
I remember the mood swings....my god. Thank god I had my mother to talk with me because when my wife was having her fits, they were FITS!!!!. Then there was the calling me every few minutes for the tiniest of things. Which wouldn't have been as bad if she didn't scream on me if I got it wrong.
FrankSinatra
New Member
When she goes into bitch mode is my cue to get up and walk the dog for a few hours. I'll do anything to get out of the house at that point so I end up doing the grocery shopping and anything else I can get done in the hopes she will be asleep and I won't have to hide a body.
micromachne
New Member
I definitely feel you on that. When mine goes went into one of her fits I made a point to do ALMOST anything to create some time and distance away .
FrankSinatra
New Member
I am a major asshole though so if I don't get up and leave then I will go head to head with her and break her down...but then she cries and I have to deal with that so it just becomes friggin' pointless and I would rather leave and go be constructive.
micromachne
New Member
Well, then leave for awhile lol. You said it yourself basically. Either way, you'll end up having to deal with something. So, better to escape and give yourself some air.
Niceness8000
New Member
The best advice about dealing with the hormones is to suck it up and take it. If you try to fight, it will cause more stress to both of you. Hopefully, you will discover that it is okay that it's not all about you. When your baby goes from being completely helpless to beginning to interact with the world, it may change your mind a little. It's pretty amazing to witness.