Different for single mothers?

[Zebeddee]

I got into a bit of a debate with a female friend the other day. She thinks that single mothers have a harder time then men in this situation! Mostly I hear the reverse so it was kind of interesting. What's your take? Do you feel you have a better time of it?

 

[Howard]

Single parenthood is just plain difficult. Individual circumstances vary so much, I don't really think you can generalize. For instance, single parents with no extended family nearby have it harder whether male or female.

 

[danno]

I know that I have less freedom then my ex wife and we are both single parents to our son, but then, I have him most of the week because that's what I want and it means that she can keep her job. It's swings and roundabouts.

 

[JakeJ]

I think single moms may find more groups targeting them than the dads would. Perhaps it is easier for them to make friends with others in similar situations? It probably depends more on where you live and how much money you have though.

 

[daddyjay]

I think there might be some individuals who attach more stigma to the term single mom than single dad. I feel this is wrong but it seems like there are some people out there that are prejudice against single moms. I am sure that can bring up challenges. I think time management and finances and dealing with the ex are struggles that both single moms and dads deal with on a regular basis.

 

[mollew3]

I think its harder for men in this situation because men dont naturally have the kind of nurturing spirit that a woman has. I see way more single mothers than single fathers. A single parent responsibility whether its a mother or father is a huge responsibility so I think that they both deserve equal credit.

 

[taskeinc]

Single parenthood is just plain difficult. Individual circumstances vary so much, I don't really think you can generalize. For instance, single parents with no extended family nearby have it harder whether male or female.

I agree 100% with Howard. Single parenthood has nothing to do with the gender of the parent. It can be tough either way. Howard hit the nail on the head because if you're a single parent, without a support group (which I've been for the past 13 years), raising children can be a daunting task whether you're male or female.

You realize, early on, that you don't have much room for error. You cannot make the same mistakes that other parents might make. Those parents that are married, or the single parent with a support group, has a safety net.

No support group = no safety net. Therefore, any mistake you make will directly affect your children.

 

[taskeinc]

I think its harder for men in this situation because men dont naturally have the kind of nurturing spirit that a woman has.

I don't wish a custody battle on any man, or woman for that matter. But I went through one, 13 years ago, and fortunately was awarded full custody of my then 3 year old daughter and 4 year old son.

One of the things I stated, through my attorney, when our final hearing first started (it lasted about 8 hours) was to ask the judge to "not punish me, or hold it against me, for being a man."

What I meant by that, and what my attorney explained - as cordial and polite as he could - was that, as a male, I couldn't carry the child for 9 months but that did not mean I could not, or was not a nurturer. If you look up nurturer in the dictionary it doesn't specifically allude to a woman.

A "nurturing spirit" is based on the unconditional love you have for your child, no more, no less. I learned how to fix my daughter's hair - quite well; I already knew how to cook and clean, and I certainly knew how to love. That's what nurturing is all about.

No offense to the very capable mothers out there, but guys, don't fall into the trap of thinking that just because you are male, you can't be a nurturer. Don't believe me? Just ask Euphegenia Doubtfire.

Mrs. Doubtfire Trailer - YouTube

 

[CuriousJ]

I think that being a single parent is harder for a man than it is for a woman; primarily because of how society tends to sympathize with single mothers far more than single fathers.

It's pretty obvious that, for instance, the media pays far more attention to single mothers than single fathers.

However, being a single parent, regardless of the person's sex, is not an easy task.

 

[Andersson]

I think Howard has it right, it is hard on everyone. One mother might have similar issues raising a son alone that a father may have with his daughter. You can not really say its harder for one or the other, single parent or not, its a challenge.

 

[youngone]

I think it is harder for men because there still seems to be a stigma attached to being a single father, whereas single mothers receive more acceptance from society at large. This might be my own biased thinking but that's how I see it.

 

[Victor]

I can't imagine being a single parent; my hat's off to anyone who is, male or female. I also disagree that women have a more nurturing spirit. It's rather sexist. My wife and I have talked about it a lot and she told me she had no more idea what to do when we brought our first baby home than I did.

 

[youngone]

I can't imagine being a single parent; my hat's off to anyone who is, male or female. I also disagree that women have a more nurturing spirit. It's rather sexist. My wife and I have talked about it a lot and she told me she had no more idea what to do when we brought our first baby home than I did.

These prejudices against men do exist. People make assumptions based on gender and that's not right, whether its men or women. There are women who have no maternal instinct whatsoever, everyone is different.

 

[Jatelo2]

Yes, the fact that most males are independent and can comfortably fend for themselves, makes being a single father at-least bearable as compared to the seemingly vulnerable states of single mothers!