I Want to Do a Good Job

[SteppinIn]

Hi all! I just married the love of my life. She has an 11-year old daughter who I care for very much. Her father left them years ago, and only sporadically makes an attempt to keep in touch. I hope I'm not being irrational by hoping that I can be a good father figure for this girl, though I've never had kids before. I hope you all can help me out!

 

[stayathomepaul]

Congratulations on your new family. The first thing to do is to relax. It is wonderful that you are taking the initiative to learn how to be the best possible father. There will be ups and downs but you will have a great time with your new family.

 

[SteppinIn]

Thank you for the reassurance. We've had lots of fun so far in the year that I've been with my wife. We've gone to amusement parks and met with my family, and so far, so good. Now that I'll be living permanently at the house, I hope it doesn't change things "too" much.

 

[PaPaul]

Congrats! I also think that you will do just fine, especially with your enthusiasm. Just let things progress naturally; don't force it. It sounds like you're doing everything right so far. Keep an open mind and don't hesitate to ask questions here or of you wife when you need to!

 

[SamMo]

You love her and her mother and that's all that is needed. I also married a woman who had a 15 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. I have to admit that I managed better with the daughter as the son already had his defences up, but 20 years on and we are now good friends.

 

[the saint]

Someone said that "The best gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother." She is the love of your life, show it to them both and they will love you for it.

 

[Jeff]

I am sure you will do great. I also am a step father. My wife's son was 2 and would give me dirty looks anytime I showed any affection toward his mother. Now at 5, he loves to see us cuddle and loves us both. It just takes time.

 

[SteppinIn]

Thank you so much everyone! I love this community and the support it brings - everyone is so positive and helpful. Things have been going well for the most part; there is some adjusting that I expected but we're learning and growing and I'm trying to take it slow.