Kids "Diss" Their Real Father

[PaPaul]

I'm fortunate in that I get along with my step-kids very well, I just worry sometimes about the way they talk about their father when he's not around. They still spend time with him, and he's a decent enough guy, but they call him a loser and seem to think that it's all his fault that my wife and him split up. Is there any way I can coax them not to see their father this way, without overstepping any boundaries?

 

[Richard]

That's awful; I'd feel horrible if I found out that my kids were doing that when they were over by their mother. Have you told your wife about this problem? What does she think?

 

[Papa Bear]

I think you should discuss this with your wife and she should be the one to initiate the move or the explanation to the kids.

 

[PaPaul]

I have mentioned it to her, but she doesn't seem to think it's as big a problem as I think it is. This was a while ago, though, so maybe if I bring it up again and explain how serious it seems, she'll be more inclined to talk to them.

 

[Matt]

I've dealt with the same thing and I do agree, it can be very hard. I don't know what to say, because they're right about what they're saying but then I don't want them to talk badly. It's tough.

 

[Johnny]

All you can really do is let them know that it's not nice but that you understand their anger. Try to bring up the good things about them and find the positive for them

 

[Heartbeat]

I agree with discussing it with your wife, but are you sure she isn't the instigator of some of these remarks. I hate it when ex-partners talk badly about each other in front of the children. It's not right and the children deserve better.

 

[PaPaul]

On occasion, it's hard to avoid the kids hearing about the not-so-great things that he's been up to, but she doesn't direct any comments to the kids about their father in a negative way. This is something that I should have her do, the more I think about it.