Life as a new dad

[tomartin07]

I just found out a while ago that I am now a single dad. I have a little girl with my ex. She's 1 month old, and I'm scared out of my mind. I'm afraid to go hold the kid, since she's so small, I'm afraid to go see the kid at her parents house (she lives with her parents), and I'm still in the process of figuring out the legal aspect.
What advice do you guys have for me? I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm trying to get a long with the mother, and trying to find a time to see the kid, as she only wants me to go see her at her parents place. I'm not 100% sure I'm okay with that, as it's a little weird to have to go see my daughter at someone elses place.
Additionally, question on dating. I'm only 28, and I'm not really seeing anyone, but still want to date/have fun. I realize I won't have the ability to have her stay over at my place for at least another 2 years probably, so I can still have a bit of a life. How do you go about telling women that you have a kid? First date? 2nd? I felt that it was more reasonable to tell her on the first date, but some people may disagree.

Overall, I'm pretty confused as to what to do at this point. How much time to I need to spend with her (she lives 30 minutes away)? Should I get her anything? Any tips/suggestions would be great.

 

[Victor]

Are you listed on the birth certificate? If so, you can petition for partial custody, so you'd be able to see your daughter at your own place. You will also be responsible for child support, of course. I think you need to get a lawyer yesterday so you can assert your rights.

 

[John]

You definitely want to be in the child's life. Children in this situation have enough problems without having to feel like baggage. I know I would keep a running record of my own writing down what I did as a parent, especially as far as attempts to visit and what monies, gifts and so forth I gave the mother. This would help keep me accountable both to myself and to show the child, after he's grown, that you did all you could to be a father. Good luck!