Wife Not A Nice Person

[Daffy]

Before I married my current wife I was married to the mother of my children. Although she was the one who left me and took the kids and everything we owned in the middle of the night while I was at work, I have moved on. She is still (after 29 years) livid that I've moved on with my life and am happy. She is still trying to make trouble for me in any way that she can. I don't bother her but she does try to make it hard on my wife which I will not tolerate. Besides ignoring her (the kids are adults now but she is still trying to work through the grandchildren), what can I do? She is INSANE!

 

[Andy]

I would try to keep my distance from her. I think your current wife deserves that. Also, by not reacting to your ex wife, she should get bored after awhile and hopefully move on.

 

[Daffy]

I wish she would get married. We unfortunately meet at the grandchildren's functions and she is so nasty. I would love for her to have some focus other than my wife and I. I don't know why she is still doing this, we've been apart more than 10 years and yet she still will do everything she can to cause trouble. My two year old has more self restraint. My older children are out and on their own now but they do occasionally have birthday parties for their kids and unfortunately, she is there. My poor wife tries to be nice to her and she is so nasty to my wife. It's not like my current wife and I went out while I was still married. One day I'm afraid I'm going to deck her when she gets on my last nerve.

 

[eric]

I don't have the exact answer as I think the response is on a case by case basis. But I hear you. My ex-wife is also extremely difficult (on purpose !) and she's the one who left me while she was in an affair ! We have a 12 year old daughter and the ex gives me trouble about everything. At first, my response was to start giving her a hard time about everything too, but I realized that was hurting my daughter so I stopped, but the ex continues. My current response is to do the best I can for my daughter and try an put up with the ex as best I can. I wish you well. I know it's hard.

 

[Kromer]

Just smile and go on. That's the only thing you can do. Try to endure for the children's and grandchildren's sake. I know you won't be best friends but allowing her to see you hurt is just stoking the flame. I have primary custody of my kids but I let my ex be as much a part of their lives as possible. But we aren't and never will be, best of friends.

 

[Theran]

I have a similar situation, Daffy. My ex constantly harasses my new wife and myself. She is a downright evil witch. My new wife and I have a baby girl and the ex is also always trying to get information about our daughter...which irritates the hell out of my wife, as you can imagine.

As for a solution, I live in a different state from the ex so I can successfully ignore her most of the time. When the texts start coming in at midnight on a Sunday I just shut my phone off and hit "delete all" the next morning. Since you have to regularly see your ex, that's a tough situation. If she hasn't gotten over it by now, she probably never will.

My advice would be to focus on your current wife and being supportive of her rather than worrying so much about the ex and her poor behavior. The ex isn't going to go away or move on so the best thing you can do is be as loving as you can to your wife, especially during the times she has to put up with the nasty ex.

 

[Kenny]

I would say to ignore her as best you can and when you are at family functions either continue to ignore her or just act like her being her bitchy self isn't bothering you at all. If she doesn't get any kind of reaction whatsoever from you or your wife maybe she will get bored and move on.