Motherhood seems to come naturally to women. They almost seem to come out of the womb ready to raise a child. Men, however, find that fatherhood can be a struggle. Many new fathers find it difficult to bond with their child, an experience that perplexes the mothers and may create tension within the fathers.
A major difference between men and women is their connection to their children. When women give birth they experience a rush of hormones that immediately bonds them to their baby. Men, on the other hand, must establish a bond with their baby through intimate moments and experiences.
There are an endless amount of things a father can do to bond with his newborn child. The following guide will outline some simple ways to help men step into the role of father.
Care Taking During Illness
A sick child can be a nightmare, even when the sickness is nothing more than a high fever or slight cold. Cradling a sick newborn can be an extremely moving experience for the new father. He can hold his child in his arms and experience the fragility of life. When his mere presence calms the child’s crying or soothes his ailments, the father will realise what an integral part he plays in the life of the child and how vulnerable the baby truly is.
Play Photographer
Photographing a newborn can help fathers develop a sense of pride in their child. Playing with the baby, getting it to hold still, and snapping that perfect photo will help strengthen the father-child bond. Additionally, when he gets the chance to show off his photos to friends and family members, the father will swell with pride over how adorable his baby is.
Alone Time
Spending time alone with the newborn encourages fathers to establish a stronger bond. It’s difficult for many fathers to feel that they have something valuable to offer their child. When mommy seems to have everything figured out, the man of the family can feel unneeded and awkward.
It’s important that the father gets the chance to spend time alone with the baby, without the mother watching over his shoulder. This will allow him to develop his own style of parenting, helping him feel important in the life of the child.
Get Dirty
All too frequently fathers miss out on the dirty side of having a baby. Since mommy seems to always be an arms length away from the infant, fathers may not get involved in the yucky stuff.
In order to bond more closely to the child, it’s important that fathers play a role in feeding, changing, and cleaning the baby. The down and dirty tasks make the father feel needed. He will come to realise that the newborn relies on the parents for his or her every need, a fact that makes the father feel powerful and important in the life of the child.
Go To the Doctor
Mothers tend to be the parent of choice for doctors visits, but check-ups can be a great time for fathers to bond with their child. By taking the newborn to its appointments, the father will learn about the child’s development and whether or not he or she is on track. This information will establish the father’s position in the child’s life as one that helps achieve goals and keep the baby happy and healthy.
Don’t Try To Be Mom
A common mistake among new fathers is the attempt to be a second mother. Children do not need two mothers. Attempting to step up to the female role will drive men crazy. They simply cannot compete with the natural instincts of women. Men, however, offer a unique and important relationship that mothers cannot substitute. It’s important that fathers realise that what they have to offer is important and unique, but in no way inferior to the role of the mother. Newborns need both a mother and a father’s touch to be happy and healthy.
Beginning the bonding process during infancy will create a lifelong and invaluable father-child bond. Fathers are important figures in the lives of their children. The bond between a father and baby can give the child strength and happiness, while giving the father a sense of purpose and meaning. Mothers cannot fill the shoes of both parents, because what the father has to offer is valuable and unique.