Divorce is hell. While society shows its hellish effects more on women, men also suffer. In fact, there’s little information exclusively for men to help them survive divorce.
Thus, this information is exclusively for divorce men.
The following advice can help divorce men realize that their lives don’t end because their marriage did. Instead they can move forward to a new and positive beginning.
•Make forgiveness your first step in moving forward with your life. Regardless who’s to blame for your divorce, you must forgive and move on. Failure to do so will only lead to bitterness. This is unnecessary energy because your marriage is now the past and you can’t change the past. So why make your future toxic with bitterness over your past?
•Discover the new single you. Oftentimes people lose their identity in their marriage. Now that you’re single again, take time to discover who you are as a person at this point in life. Find out what makes you happy and what you like to do in order to be happy.
•Don’t become isolated from your family and friends. Surround yourself with a supportive group of people who will encourage you to move forward with your life instead dwelling on your divorce.
•Don’t start bad habits. Some people drown themselves in pity whenever their personal lives take a dramatic change. They turn to food, alcohol, and drugs. Some even throw themselves into their work more. These aren’t good habits to begin with, and they’re even worse when you’re going through a life changing event such as divorce. Thus, avoid them.
•Spend quality time with your children. Don’t let your divorce keep you away from your children. Just because your marriage ended doesn’t mean they have to suffer for it. Furthermore, for your children’s sake, remain civil towards your ex-spouse. Remember, divorce is hard on them too. Don’t make it harder for them by arguing.
•Get your finances in order. Now that you’re a divorced man, all the household finances fall upon you. This might not be a problem if you were the breadwinner during your marriage; however, if you shared financial responsibilities with your spouse, you must quickly adjust to this sole responsibility. So, if you need help managing your finances, consider using the services of a consumer credit counselor.
•Don’t jump into a “rebound relationship.” Because you’re at a vulnerable moment, it’s in your best interest to spend some time alone before seeking out a new love interest. The truth is your new partner will only be your attempt at filling the emptiness you’re feeling from your dissolved marriage. Your new relationship will likely have nothing to do with love – very unfair to you and the other person. Wait until you’re ready to date again. This could well be a year.
•Take care of yourself. There’s no need to neglect your physical appearance because you’re a divorcee. Shave body areas that need shaving, put on some decent clothes, monitor your weight, etc.
•Don’t get online bashing your ex-spouse. This is not to place to “get revenge” on your former spouse. Truthfully, no place is. It’s not only disrespectful, but also hurtful, especially if children are involved.
•Set communication rules between you and your former spouse. Decide what you should and shouldn’t discuss. If children are involved, their well-being should actually be your only reasons for discussions. There’s no need to discuss your new partners with each other or the reason your marriage failed.
•Take care of your mind. Some men turn into a mental mess after divorcing, especially after having been married for so long. Start meditating or doing yoga for the purpose of calming your mind and soul.
Divorce can be tough, even on men. However, you can survive it. Just take it one day at a time while remembering the survival advice above. Do so and you’ll be on your way to a great future.