There are many reasons that you want all the children in a family to feel equal. Even if you have stepchildren, you will want them to feel like they are the same to you as the kids who are of your own flesh and blood. The equality between children will help them grow as a person. If you favor one child over another, there are several things that can happen that will have a negative effect on both children.
The child who you show favoritism to will grow up thinking and feeling that they are better than others around them. This can lead to many different things as they grow up. The child will be extremely competitive, which in some circumstances isn’t very bad, but in many circumstances will lead to a child who feels like if they don’t succeed then they aren’t good enough. When they do succeed, they will be a sore winner and not a good sport. It’s not healthy for a child to have the opinion that they are better than others around them because it will eventually lead to someone busting their bubble and they will suffer from intense depression.
A child who isn’t the favorite will grow up with feelings of inadequacy. This can lead to many things as they grow older. They may not feel as though they are good enough to be able to succeed at the things they want and dream of. It can lead to them never taking the chance to live their dreams. They may settle for something because they don’t feel they can do better. This can eventually lead to severe depression as an adult and sometimes cause a lash out later in life.
To make sure that all the children in the family feel as though they are equally important to you, make sure that each one gets plenty of your time. When you treat one child, treat them all. Don’t give one child more of your attention than another. This can be hard sometimes because fathers tend to want to spend more time with their sons, while mothers lean more towards the girls. Make sure each child gets attention from both parents.
If you are a step-parent then you will find yourself in a more difficult situation because you will have to give equal treatment to children who are not your own. You may find yourself in a difficult situation mentally because of this. Just remember that the children don’t understand the actions of adults. They understand that you aren’t their biological parent, but don’t understand why the child that came with you is more important. In groups, you should treat the children like a teacher would treat her class. Each child is equally important.
Treating children the same can lead to each child feeling very important and making each child want to succeed to the best of their ability. You will end up with a group of kids who feel wanted, appreciated, and like they are worth something to their family. You will also end up with stepchildren who trust you more and respect you more when they become older and understand everything that has gone on in their family.
Giving all the children in the family equal treatment also shows your friends and family how wonderful of a person you are. Many times if you are the newcomer to the family, you may feel as though you need approval. You may really feel this way if you are the second or third spouse of an individual. The family may be skeptical about you because you have kids and may be weary that you will show favoritism towards you own kids above the children they already love. Showing that you can treat them as equals will effect the entire family in a positive way and will also help integrate your own children into this new family.