So here you are, married to the women of your dreams the happiest you have ever been in your life, but along with that happiness you have inherited these stepchildren who seem to have different emotions every single day. From anger to sadness and sometimes even emotions that may show that they are accepting you into their life. It seems like a whirlpool of emotions that send you into confusion and frustration. There may be many days that you may feel that you do not have the patience or capability to handle your stepchildren emotions, and that is perfectly normal. The best thing that you can do as a father with stepchildren is try to understand some very important things before you can begin to deal with your stepchildren’s emotions. With a better understanding of things you will be on the road to hopefully creating a healthy and loving relationship with your stepchildren. Below are a few things you can do to help with your stepchildren emotions.
1. The most important thing to remember when you have stepchildren is to not expect too much too soon. Just as having these new children in your life is completely new for you, it also is very new for them as well. You will not receive instant acceptance from stepchildren. When a family has a stepfather must of the time it means that the family has gone through many difficult issues which may have caused a lot of pain and grief for the children. In order for your stepchildren to be comfortable to accept you in their life, there may be many emotions they need to figure out first.
2. As a stepfather it is important to know your boundaries. You should try to avoid disciplining your stepchildren too soon. You should try to remember that they have grown up with their set rules before you came into the picture, and that is what they are accustomed to. When a stepfather comes into the home and shows that they are going to automatically change the discipline, children may become angry and hostel towards you. Emotions like these can lead to many other issues and your stepchildren may even become rebels to get back at you for changing what they are used to. Take things slowly and always be patient.
3.Be open with your stepchildren about how you are feeling. If there is something that is bothering you it is important that you inform them about it. They may not always listen to you and most of the time at first may even ignore you, but it is a good idea to keep communication open about your feelings as well as theirs.
4.Do not try to have them call you Dad. This is one of the main reason stepchildren’s emotions tend to get out of control. This may cause them to become very angry because to them you are not their real father. Over time they may start calling you Dad, or they may not feel comfortable calling you anything other then by your name. Allow them to call you whatever the want to, as long as it is not disrespectful to you.
5.Always show respect towards your stepchildren father. Children normally do not like when stepfather come into the family and talk badly about their biological father. There may be many things you are not aware of and speaking badly about their father may cause a lot of emotions. You should always respect their feelings and their parents.
There are many different things you can try to do to deal with your stepchildren’s emotions but it is important that you deal with it in a patient and adult manner. It will take time for them to get accustomed to you being part of their life, and this is nothing unusual. If you allow them the time to open up to you on their own, you may find that you can build a great relationship together. Plus you also will be saving yourself from many unneeded controversies and emotions. Things will work out if you have the desire to be patient and understanding.