Adult son in law
- Thread starter Jaxon
- Start date
That sounds like he would be your step son. A son-in-law would married to your daughter.
What's the problem with the kid? Is he a trouble maker? I would talk to your wife about setting a time limit for how long he is allowed to stay and get back on his feet and then stick to it. A 21 year old is capable of making his own way in this world and living on his own.
What's the problem with the kid? Is he a trouble maker? I would talk to your wife about setting a time limit for how long he is allowed to stay and get back on his feet and then stick to it. A 21 year old is capable of making his own way in this world and living on his own.
Salazar, all he wants to do is do minor chores around the house for 20 bucks here and there to buy pot, which he smokes in our laundry room. His mother pays him and knows what he's doing. He makes no attempts to find work. His father made him this way by his own inaction as a father, now he can't deal with his mistake, and pawned him off on us, because he knows that his sons mother will do anything to keep him from being homeless or in jail. Am I the only one who feels like we're being used by his worthless father?
Try to look at it this way Jaxon. You obviously have a different view of parenting then the father in question does. From what you've said, he sounds like a very poor father, true, but has it ever dawned on you that maybe he just isn't the kind of person who is capable of raising a productive member of society? Trust me, there are a lot of parents out there like that. People like that don't do it on purpose, they just don't have it in them. Does that make them bad people? Not necessarily. They can try, and try, and give it their all, but they just can't make it "click" somehow.
Now, put yourself in his shoes. How would that make YOU feel?
Don't hate the man Jaxon, just realize that he doesn't have what it takes. Remember, he realizes this too.
Now, put yourself in his shoes. How would that make YOU feel?
Don't hate the man Jaxon, just realize that he doesn't have what it takes. Remember, he realizes this too.
Eh hem. While that may be the case with some people, it is not the rule of thumb. Most of the people I know who have raised kids like that have done so because they are lazy. They were too lazy to parent and they ended up producing mirror images of themselves. Maybe this guy did try to do his best.
Regardless, now Jaxon has a pot smoking, lazy 21 year old in his house and his wife is enabling the behavior. I stand by what I said before - set a time limit for him to get a job, save some money, and get his own place. If he wants to act like that, he can do it elsewhere. If he continues on this path in your home, you and your wife will inevitably start arguing about it and that is not going to be good.
Regardless, now Jaxon has a pot smoking, lazy 21 year old in his house and his wife is enabling the behavior. I stand by what I said before - set a time limit for him to get a job, save some money, and get his own place. If he wants to act like that, he can do it elsewhere. If he continues on this path in your home, you and your wife will inevitably start arguing about it and that is not going to be good.
I suggest you observe the 21-year old dude and depending on his behavior, make your next step. It seems you have already made up your mind about him not steaying there. Did you have a chat with your wife about this before you got married? In a way or the other, he was to come up anyway.
Thank you Salazar, the voice of reason here. Personally, I don't care much whether the father meant to do it or not. It's done and now it's in my home. I think the time limit ideas are good. While he's my wife's son, even she's starting to realize that we can't live this way forever. We have a ten year old, straight A daughter and neither one of us want her growing up in this new environment that was given to us so "kindly" by my step sons father.