Advice on Bullying?

[Shadow]

My son is being bullied in school and he doesn't know how to deal with it. We talked with parents of other kids and teachers but this issue is not solved still. I want to teach my son to stand for himself. How should I do this?

 

[Ifamily]

I am so sorry for your son. Bullying is one of the hardest issues to deal with in school. To make it worse, it seems that every school has bullies.

 

[Jacob]

Every place has bullies and this is nothing strange. Sometimes, although among kids bullying is usually pretty harmless to their physical health it can be detrimental to their mental health. Maybe a solution would be to practice with your kid how he can practically stand for himself.

 

[joeldgreat]

My daughter had experienced this one when she's on her first grade. And it had some effect on her that she do not want to go to school on her second grade. During the summer I had enrolled her in a kids karate school just for her to learn the basic stuffs. Then, we had convince her to go to the same school on her second grade.

The bullying still continues, but I had convince her that sometimes she needs to stand up and fight when she sees that enough is enough. In short she punch her classmate on his nose which ended us on the principals office. I told the principal that its the right thing to do for her and only felt sorry for the bullying kid.

From that day on, the bullying stop and now my daughter is in grade six.

 

[Lieutenant]

I would demand that those teachers do something. If they do not do anything I would get the police involved. I know to some of you this may seem extreme but bullying can lead to other serious issues. It can also be an indication that the child that is doing the bullying needs serious psychological help. The best way to teach your child to stand up for him/herself is to show them to use the police in a positive way. This will deter them from using violence themselves later on to solve problems. Hope this helps.

 

[Lorenzo]

If the teachers and the school principal could not resolve the issue of bullying within the school's four corners, I agree with Liutenant that going to the police would be the next best course of action. With the kind of bullies that we have in the news today, it's necessary to maximize our options, especially when it comes to our children.

 

[Sinbian]

Sometimes, kids need to learn how to deal with this on their own. I know it's easier said than done because kids that suffer are usually the sensitive ones. But there is nothing better than making a stand for your own sake, which doesn't always have to include violence and fighting. Teach them to talk back verbally at least, which may be a good start.

 

[clipt]

When my kids get older I plan on teaching them the same way I was taught. They have to stand up for themselves, as long as they show fear the bully will pick on them. I had a bully once when I was six, and after my parents had that talk with me I never let anyone push me around. I wish the best of luck to you.

 

[Victor Leigh]

I had this problem once. What I did was to confront the teacher in charge of the class. I told the teacher in no uncertain terms that if the teacher cannot handle it, I will handle it my own way. Problem solved overnight.

 

[Enrique]

There will always be bullies if kids (and people in general) give them the power to act that way. I agree with most fathers here, our kids should learn how to stand up to bullies. It may not be easy at first, but when the bullies see that you are someone to be reckoned with, they will get tired of pushing you around soon enough.

 

[Ifamily]

Maybe a solution would be to practice with your kid how he can practically stand for himself.

That is a good idea. What about getting your kid in a martial art class? It would allow your kid to develop not only his physical but also his mental strength.

 

[AvalonX]

That is a good idea. What about getting your kid in a martial art class? It would allow your kid to develop not only his physical but also his mental strength.

The issue with this it that the schools have a very strict no tolerance rule. My Son is the smallest in his school so he gets his share. If he retaliates in any way verbally or not he is in the Principles office or worse. They can't even say things like "I'll kill you" or anything threatening without getting suspended. You need to deal with the school and parents. After all, they can't suspend you can they?

 

[josephconrad]

I empathize very much with your situation. I was bullied more than once growing up and it contributed to some serious problems in school. I think the extent of it has a lot to do with the school culture, and the tolerance for bullying. In one school I went to, teachers didn't care and let the kids to themselves. In the other school, the vice-principal investigated cases of bullying and punished them, protecting kids from harm.

I wish you luck and whatever you do, don't castigate the kid for being a wimp or a loser or act like you're completely disappointed with him. That doesn't work.

 

[micromachne]

I feel bad for your son. But then it's time for your son to start fighting back. A bully is much less likely to bother your son the less he seems like a pushover.

 

[Foster]

I'm pretty sure my oldest son if being bullied at school. I've tried speaking to his mum about this but whenever I do she simply says everything is fine at school and if anything was wrong he would tell her. It doesn't help that I live 300 miles away so can't speak to the school directly or even go to see what's going on.

That said teaching your son how to stand up for himself is the best idea as long as you also teach him when to do it.

 

[Victor Leigh]

The issue with this it that the schools have a very strict no tolerance rule. My Son is the smallest in his school so he gets his share. If he retaliates in any way verbally or not he is in the Principles office or worse. They can't even say things like "I'll kill you" or anything threatening without getting suspended. You need to deal with the school and parents. After all, they can't suspend you can they?

If the school has such a strict no tolerance rule, then how did the bullying happen? I don't quite understand the situation. Perhaps a bit more information might enlighten me.

 

[micromachne]

If the school has such a strict no tolerance rule, then how did the bullying happen? I don't quite understand the situation. Perhaps a bit more information might enlighten me.

That's a good point Victor brings up. If they are so strict, then it should be just as bad for the bully as it would be if your son retaliated.

 

[flfsurveyor]

Fighting off the bully could just make matters worse. The best thing to do always is to report the incident to the nearest teacher or school staff. If the school/s has zero tolerance, then the bully will most certainly be called to the office and a note/call to the bully's parents promptly made. Same is true for cyber-bullying which is now also getting to be prevalent.

 

[FrankSinatra]

I can tell you one trick, but not a lot of people like what I say.

Show your kid how to kick some ass. Teach him how to throw a punch and show him the weak parts of the body. Next time this bully comes around then make sure your kid gives him a swift kicks in the balls and a broken nose.

Then when the parents or the school calls you in you will say: "I complained numerous times and it fell on deaf ears. My son needed protection and finally had the courage to stand up to this ingrate and his parents are lucky that I have outgrown my childish tendencies or else his father would also be laying on the ground with a bloody face."