Being friends with your children

[KevinD]

I've seen two different views on this subject of parents being friends with their kids and parents saying they aren't their childs friend, they are their parent. From experience, the ones who have a friend type relationship seem to get along better and the children are respectable people. What is your take? Should a parent be a friend of their child as well as their parent?

 

[Mel]

Yeah, I think it is possible and good. That way, you role model for your children how a true friendship is supposed to be.

 

[Fatherof2]

I don't think it is cut and dried like that. Sometimes you should be a friend to your kid, and other times you need to be the responsible parent. I don't understand why some people think it has to be either or.

 

[KevinD]

I don't think it is cut and dried like that. Sometimes you should be a friend to your kid, and other times you need to be the responsible parent. I don't understand why some people think it has to be either or.

Well I didn't say it had to be one or the other. I mentioned in my last question about being both. I think it's a good idea to be both. I know people that aren't close with their parents or family. They love eachother, but it isn't that closeness like I've seen with other people. We have one family in this life and I say take care of eachother and be happy with eachother.

 

[Andersson]

You must have a good vibe around you then, most parents I know who are their friends first and parents second end up with kids trying to get away with anything they want. Even more so when the parent just wants to "hang" with their kid, its like the parent never really grew up.

 

[Christian]

I think it is important for parents to be both a friend and a parent depending on the situation. A lot of parents just don't seem to know when to switch.

 

[Kenny]

Finding a good balance between friend and parent can be difficult I think. Especially for younger parents who had their kids before they were "grown" themselves.

 

[SpeedyDad]

I think that you have to be a friend and a parent at the same time. You have to find a good balance, and like the above poster said...sometimes that can really be difficult!

 

[LeonR]

I am friends with all of my children. Mine are no longer toddlers and can think through the differences between being a friend and being a parent. They know I'm their father and will not be manipulated by tricks. When they were little, they tried, and of course won some little battles. Now that they are older, we struggle some, but still they know how I operate.

 

[Paul1960]

I made it a point to incorporate friendship into my relationships with my children. I wouldn't have the close, loving, rewarding relationship that I have with my children if I had "just" been the parent by "laying down the law" and doling out punishments every time someone broke a rule, or by "just" being their friend and never establishing any boundaries at all.

 

[TJoel]

I am trying to be different but I think you all are right guys. We have to be both a parent and a friend for the kids. Just let them aware that just because you also are their friends doesn't mean they can do what their parents wouldn't allow them to do.