Bossy 4 year old

[Independent]

My youngest has always been sweet and well behaved. Even through her terrible 2s she was never terrible. She is about to turn 4 and suddenly she is very bossy and doesn't want to listen to anyone. What do I do?

 

[Jdrake]

You have to stay strong and set strong limits. This is a time when she is becoming aware of her surroundings and the people in it. You can not let her be bossy or she will create a very bad habit.

 

[youngdad]

Jdrake is right. You can't let her get by with being bossy or she may develop a habit. You need to explain to her that being bossy is not acceptable, set firm limits and consequences for the behavior, and then be consistent in carrying out those consequences.

 

[bighelp]

I have noticed in the past 20 years or so this tends to happen more and more. It is like the terrible twos were a thing of the past. I can not think of a single person who had this issue with any of their kids, maybe it was a myth?

 

[ChristopherT]

This is part of growing up and is normal. If they didn't do that at some point (just wait till she hits the teenage years!) she would not be developing normally. Grit your teeth and have patience.

 

[GranddadHoward]

It is part of growing up, but I believe it is important to teach kids that being bossy, especially if it is to the parents, is not acceptable behavior.

 

[daddydoright]

JDrake and YoungDad are right on point. It sounds like she is letting you know that she’s ready to learn that her actions have consequences. A friend recommended a book called Boundaries with Kids to me a couple months ago and it was great. I used to have that “kids are going to be kids” attitude but the book helped me to see that they will continue to do it if they know they can get away with it.