child blocking

[crowl]

I have a friend who is not allowing their ex to see the child until their divorce is set in stone. Nothing is final yet and nothing is actually bad, they mutually split but I do not get having the evil ex. What is the best way to go about this besides get a lawyer?

 

[Paranoid]

I don't understand how the ex isn't allowed to see the kids if the split is mutual and everything is going okay. Is there a reason? I imagine that if they can't talk about it so that both parents can see their children then a lawyer is the only other way to make things right.

 

[Andersson]

I am guessing it would be something court ordered like one parent having the residential custody which sometimes makes it hard for the other parent. My brother went through this years ago with his ex wife who made it extremely hard to deal with anything related to their child, she could barely speak a kind word.

 

[2andalone]

I just cannot imagine being the parent who does not get to see their child at all. I would never keep the child from the other parent without a good reason. That sounds like emotional abuse to me.

 

[Mel]

Yeah, I know a guy who made a mutual decision with his wife to go to school and while he was at school trying it out for the first semester, she divorced him via the mail then wouldn't let him even talk to the kids on the phone. It was ugly.

 

[Kost]

After years of hearing this before from many others it makes me wonder why this is even an issue in life. I know some people who work very hard for their kids, even when they are the "weekend" parents. What is up with the courts allowing this?

 

[Kenneth]

Yeah, I know a guy who made a mutual decision with his wife to go to school and while he was at school trying it out for the first semester, she divorced him via the mail then wouldn't let him even talk to the kids on the phone. It was ugly.

She really told him she wanted a divorce in a letter? I'm sorry, but that sounds pretty cowardly. Poor guy. Did she cheat on him or something? Was he able to get to see and talk to his children or is it still being settled in court?

 

[collin]

fair and balanced answer.

I have a friend who is not allowing their ex to see the child until their divorce is set in stone. Nothing is final yet and nothing is actually bad, they mutually split but I do not get having the evil ex. What is the best way to go about this besides get a lawyer?

Get a lawyer!

really, think about it. If someone cannot muster the maturity to be civil about something so basic as each parent's right to see their children equally, what other choice do you have.

Unless there is some REAL reason for the "blocking" as you call it (like abuse, drugs, alcohol or legitimate fear of flight with the children etc) it seems pretty clear then that the legal system is the way to break this sort of stalemate...although depending on what state you live in often times the man gets the short end of the stick.

 

[JenVarsity]

I have a friend who is not allowing their ex to see the child until their divorce is set in stone. Nothing is final yet and nothing is actually bad, they mutually split but I do not get having the evil ex. What is the best way to go about this besides get a lawyer?

He can try to work through it on paper first; before getting an attorney. He can mail a letter requesting the children on such and such a date. If she later denies him, the police will allow the children to leave with him based on their written agreement.

It is unfortunate that the police would need to be involved - and some won't even go that far, stating it is a "civil" matter. But they are always more than willing to do "standbys" while parents trade children.

We also have a friend who split from his lady of eleven years and he is not having much luck seeing the children either becuase they refuse to see him without their mother present.

Best of luck!

 

[collin]

He can try to work through it on paper first; before getting an attorney. He can mail a letter requesting the children on such and such a date. If she later denies him, the police will allow the children to leave with him based on their written agreement.

It is unfortunate that the police would need to be involved - and some won't even go that far, stating it is a "civil" matter. But they are always more than willing to do "standbys" while parents trade children.

We also have a friend who split from his lady of eleven years and he is not having much luck seeing the children either becuase they refuse to see him without their mother present.

Best of luck!

Where I come from the police would say without a court order there is nothing they will do. I guarantee you that. Written agreements will not circumvent the law in any situation, and without a court-ordered document that the police can go by...they will do nothing. Oh, I forgot, they will do soemthing... they'll tell you to get a court order. Been there, done that.

 

[Bear]

I think it is shameful for any parent to try and keep their kids from the other parent. That is a very sad, and stressful situation to put any child into. Collin is right about the court-order though. Getting the police involved will not help without one.

 

[Lorenzo]

I have a friend who is not allowing their ex to see the child until their divorce is set in stone. Nothing is final yet and nothing is actually bad, they mutually split but I do not get having the evil ex. What is the best way to go about this besides get a lawyer?

They could try talking to each other. If breaking up is a mutual thing, then I'm guessing there is no bad blood between the estrange couple. So, it's possible that they could find the time to sit down and ask each other what they both need and want, most importantly having an open communication - and actually spending time - with their child.

 

[Victor Leigh]

Sounds more like blackmail to me. It's like one of the partners is using the child as leverage to get something from the other partner.

 

[Lieutenant]

The best option is to get a lawyer. You can get police involved but we are unable to enforce much without a court order.

 

[huullk]

Yeah, I know a guy who made a mutual decision with his wife to go to school and while he was at school trying it out for the first semester, she divorced him via the mail then wouldn't let him even talk to the kids on the phone. It was ugly.