Daughters friend problems

[polamalu43]

My daughter has a friend who has been having problems with her stepfather. He has been pretty mean to her lately. He is saying mean things. She has been coming to our house and crying. I want to punch this guy. I told her she can stay here as often as she wants to. My wife wants to talk to her mom. Think it will help?

 

[Bear]

Having your wife talk to the mom could help or it could make it worse. If mom sides with the stepdad things could get very ugly for the daughter. They could also say that she is no longer allowed to see your daughter, and that would just leave the poor friend isolated. Maybe you should have your wife ask the friend if she wants her to talk to her mom.

 

[Lorenzo]

Yes, ask your daughter's friend first if it's okay for you to talk her mother. This way, you can see if it's alright with her or not. If she's not comfortable with your wife taking up the issue with her own mom, yet your wife goes through with it just the same, your daughter's friend might not trust your daughter or your family anymore. I don't want to imagine what the friend might do if she feels she can't turn to any of you for help.

 

[Sinbian]

First feel out the situation by having your wife talk to her mom. Her stepdad doesn't need to know about it. What comes out of it will give you more information on how to proceed.

 

[Salazar]

I agree with the others that you need to proceed with caution on this one. If tempers flare, it could end up badly for everyone involved.

 

[CHenne]

I would hope the mom is not siding with the stepdad. Man that would be horrible! I would have your wife talk to the friend. Let the friend decide if she wants your wife to try to help.

 

[Andersson]

That is a very fine line to cross and I have been there myself. My wife and I started dating at a very young age and she did not come from the best of homes out there. My family took her in many times when her parents would lock her out of her own home. One of the first things you may face being involved is being called self righteous, I know my family did.

 

[polamalu43]

We have decided that my wife will talk to the mom. They are not friends, we don't even really like her parents. If being called self-righteous is what they call us, so be it. I would rather the friend be safe.

 

[Zimmer]

Be careful with these things. All though you might think you are doing the right thing, you might end up with an assault charge, especially if the mother backs up the charge, as it often happens in these situations.