I don't think that anybody begins looking for a relationship with the hope that they will become a step-parent, but did you actively try to avoid it? I think that in my situation if I were looking for a relationship I would avoid dating women who already had children because I feel like it adds too much drama into a family that already feels stable.
Did you avoid becoming a step-parent?
- Thread starter Jakex3
- Start date
I've seen the trouble my brother goes through with his wife's ex, and I've tried to avoid situations like that. In a way I'm thankful my daughters biological is not in the picture. Never heard from him other then to get him to sign off on adoption papers. Makes life a lot easier. Although i do feel bad for my daughter.
strongenough
New Member
I can understand that. I have a friend who is the father to a little girl whose bio dad basically abandoned her. My friend was able to adopt her and she does not see my friend as the step-dad - he is her dad.
It is sad that it happens though. I mean how will my daughter, or your friends daughter take it that her biological basically abandoned her. No matter what happens with my wife, I could never see myself saying I will have nothing to do with my kids. I just hope my daughter realizes that she is loved, and he is just an idiot. I will not stop her from talking to him if she wishes though.
Yeah, I did actively try to avoid it. I dated around before I met my wife and if the date had kids, that was a deal breaker. I hate to sound cold, but I'm not interested in raising another man's kids. Now that I'm married, my wife and I talk about having kids of our own and I look forward to it when the day comes, but I'll never regret my decision to stay away from women who already have kids.
It is actually due to evolution that men aren't particularly keen on looking after and providing for somebody else's DNA. I personally don't think guys should avoid ladies with kids, because not every situation is filled with the drama the OP speaks of, and you'll be missing out on a lot of quality women if you never give them a shot.
It's ironic because my first wife left me because I wanted to keep putting off starting a family until I established my business. But I never felt the need to start a family with her, even after my business was established. I really don't blame her for leaving for this reason.
Then I met my current wife and fell head over heals for her. I knew she had young kids, and I was surprised to find that I fell in love with them as well. There was no drama with this girls, even though their father basically abandoned them. Even now that they are adults, my wife and I never went through those rough teenage years you hear so many others go through. They're not perfect, don't get me wrong. But we don't fight or yell at one another. I feel very fortunate to have them in my life. It was like they filled an empty space in my heart.
Then I met my current wife and fell head over heals for her. I knew she had young kids, and I was surprised to find that I fell in love with them as well. There was no drama with this girls, even though their father basically abandoned them. Even now that they are adults, my wife and I never went through those rough teenage years you hear so many others go through. They're not perfect, don't get me wrong. But we don't fight or yell at one another. I feel very fortunate to have them in my life. It was like they filled an empty space in my heart.
freedombiker
New Member
I think it depends on the situation. It will also depend on how old you are and in what kind of way you are looking for a relationship yourself, and if you are already divorced it is different then when you never have been married. So it will depend a lot of your own situation. but it is always good to standstill by these things.