I'm good with computers and working out and all people that know me find suitable to ask me for advice. That's OK, but sometimes they think that me wasting 2 hours on fixing their computer and telling them what to eat and how to workout is perfectly normal. People, I live of of these skills and people pay me money for it. At least what you can do is acknowledge that. Had similar experiences?
Friends Exploiting Your Profession?
- Thread starter Sinbian
- Start date
I have had similar experiences and so has my wife. I used to paint houses so people always call me to ask my opinion on this or that which translates into "don't you want to paint it for me while I stand here and watch"? My wife is a freelance writer so everyone always wants her to proofread (often code for re-write) their stuff.
I think it is in people's nature to ask for help from those they know with the skills to help them. I have had this problem as well because I have a lot of odd job skills including computer repair and writing. I also have people try to pawn off their children on me because I am a work at home dad.
It wouldn't be so bad if the people would reciprocate. My experience is that the ones who expect you to do for them fail to remember they have skills you could barter. We see this in church all the time. Some people do all the work in the church. Others are first in line to help only when it comes to eating.
I end up telling new people I meet that I am a garbage man. I learned when I first got a job repair computers not to say so. If you do, like you said, you get to answer questions or fix computers for several hours. So now I'm a garbage man they ask a lot less questions that way.
I'm in construction and used to get asked all the time. I always feel bad saying no but it ended up I was away more than home on some days. One day, at one of the girls' softball games, one of the (single) mothers offered to set up a playdate and take all the kids. I said (loudly enough) that'd be great and to call me if she ever needed any odd jobs done because the barter system works good for me.
Requests went way down after that.
Requests went way down after that.
I really do not mind helping people when I can. But some people expect you do fix their problems over and over again, no charge. Or sit there and ask you questions for an hour or two and do the exact opposite of what you say. I still do help out family and close friends when I can, but if I just met you are a party and you took half my time there asking questions when I can be relaxing, you can will be charged. A bit mean perhaps, but I feel when I'm off duty, I'm off duty, and that does not happen much.
I'm good with painting houses or fixing light bulbs and anything that's broken. I didn't study these things, it all started as a hobby for me. When my neighbors learned about my "expertise," I'm always called to "assist" with fixing whatever. I didn't mind at first because I'm glad to help, but there are just people who abuse your kindness, so I simply started saying "no" to requests. Not easy, but it saved my sanity.
Victor Leigh
New Member
I have been involved in computer work for decades. Once in a while, friends and relatives have asked me for free service but these incidents are few, so I am not really bothered. Actually there are times when I would help out some friends and relatives with their computer problems without expecting any payment at all. Life can't all just be about money, isn't it?
I have a friend that regularly invites herself and her boyfriend round for a meal, cooked by me of course (Don't think I've mentioned, I'm a chef). They also think it's OK to drink my beer whilst here. If I ever tell them it's their turn then we get frozen pizza brought round.
You're allowing yourself to be exploited here (no offense). After a time or two of realizing that it took so long to fix things, you should have put your foot down and said you can't do it anymore either because you're too busy, or because you need some compensation involved (at a discounted rate, since they're your friends seeking your services).
joeldgreat
New Member
I know one or two about computer too, and there are many instances already that my service was ask by my neighbors to fixed their computer. Even relatives had ask for my assistance about this. Personally, I would not mind fixing their computer even if the problem is simply due to a virus attack. I would say, its simply a give and take situation because sometimes I also need their service like helping me to paint the roof or fixing the gutter.
micromachne
New Member
I think we all have a friend or two that might take full advantage of a skill we possess. I don't mind helping. But I know the difference between helping and me being abused.
The problem with being good with computers and being everyone's "go to" guy is that, once you've fixed someone's computer, everything that goes wrong afterward is chalked up to what you did. I honestly think it's worse than being a mechanic.
I'm happy to give general advice or point them towards a number of "fix it yourself" sites. If I'm asked to actually come over and look at something, I say that I work with computers 8 hours a day and that I'm not up for adding to that time.
I'm happy to give general advice or point them towards a number of "fix it yourself" sites. If I'm asked to actually come over and look at something, I say that I work with computers 8 hours a day and that I'm not up for adding to that time.
FrankSinatra
New Member
This happens because you allow it to happen. I work in Finance and will give general information to anyone but if you want my expertise then you will need to pay for it. I will give a friend a significant discount but I make a living doing this and everyone knows I don't work for free.
Hedonologist
New Member
I exploit my friends professions so I don't mind repaying the favors. Mates rates job keep me solvent, if it wasn't for all the favors I don't think I would have the workload to pay all of the bills. I'd rather my money go to them, and they'd rather their money go to me.