I have a problem that I don't know how to address. My wife has to deal with three of my kids on their every other weekend and two weeks in the summer visitation. She has our child too who is rather young. The three older ones think I defer to her to set the rules of the house but they aren't here all of the time. When they are here, they pretty much want to do as they please. I've tried to explain this to them and let them know that it is "our" rules they are following but they think otherwise. They are at the point that they don't want to visit. I can't allow them to not have any discipline when they're here but they hold the fact that they can choose not to come to our house for their visitation. What should I do? I really want them here and to see them but they really push it.
Making A Difference
- Thread starter Kromer
- Start date
I wish I could answer that for you. I have not been through that. I know my brother has kids who live with him from his wifes previous marriage. Their father had very little rules for them, spoiled them, and just generally let them do whatever. Together my brother and his wife got some discipline into them. But when they visit their father they have none. It makes it really hard. They just kept persisting with the discipline, and still do.
I think you need to stand your ground on this one. They need discipline and cannot be allowed to simply run free at your house. They may cause some trouble for a while by exercising their right not to visit, but I find that in the end, when kids become adults they migrate toward the parent that cared enough to teach them what's right and keep them safe.