Mother Not Interested In Son

[youngdad]

My boy is 3 and his mother hasn't seen him more than a few times since not long after he was born. I date every now and then, but not often and he sees my mom 3 or 4 times a week. I'm concerned about the lack of a mother in his life, even though grandma treats him really good. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[Aaron]

I don't understand parents that do not see their kids or spend time with them! If he has a positive womanly influence in his life I do not see a concern. I was raised by my grandmother and turned out pretty good.

 

[SeaUrchin]

He should be fine as long as he has a female influence in his life. I don't understand people who don't want to see their kids either. It's a shame and they really don't know what they are missing out on. I love my kids more than my life.

 

[youngdad]

I'm not making excuses for his mom, but she was young and I guess didn't want to give up activities and her life. Looking back, she was pretty self-centered the whole time we were together, always wanting her way. I was totally blinded by love and didn't see that. I wouldn't give up my son for anything.

 

[Jerry F]

I'm so sorry you have been confronted with this. Just talk to your son when he starts asking questions, not before. Don't paint the mother as a bad person either, it just messes kids up in the long run.

 

[CoolFather]

If his grandma is taking care of him, he should be fine. He already has a female presence in his life to care for him...

Are you planning to tell him the truth about his mother, or invent something until he reaches an age when he can understand things better?

 

[proudpapa]

I agree with everyone in that he has your mom and that is the next best thing. Maybe get him in some play groups that have a female teacher. You sound pretty level headed, I think he'll be alright.

 

[stepdad]

That's a sad situation, I'm sorry for your son. Hopefully his mother will come to her senses one day, for his sake. I think you're mom raised a good guy, so you're son sounds like he's in good hands.

 

[Zebeddee]

I'm sorry to hear this too. I would be calling on as many women as possible to give him the different interaction and allow him to create trust with them. Perhaps he has a godmother who could be around for him as well as his gran?

 

[TopPop]

My fiance didn't see her son for several years either. His father was very abusive to her and she finally ended up running for her life. Anyway, during the time she was absent, her ex's mother (the grandmother) was in the picture and that helped a lot. The kid still has problems, but I think that's more because of the violence of the father than the absence of a mother.

I think as long as your son spends a lot of time with your mother and he understands that your mother is his grandmother, not his own mother, he will be fine.

 

[Aiden]

That's really sad! My heart goes out to him because not having one parent in your life can really hurt you as you get older. At the end of the day though, since she doesn't want to be there, maybe it's best for him. It sounds to me like he has a great support system. Be there for him... that's all you can really do