Overnights with boyfriends

[BigPapa]

My sisters daughter is 14 and has been dating the same boy for the school year. During Spring Break my sister let her go with her boyfriend for the week to visit his dad in Louisiana and we live in Illinois. She is planning on letting her go again over summer break for 2 weeks. I think she is crazy to let her daughter go at 14 on overnights like these. Am I just being a prude?

 

[polamalu43]

Wow, I know for a fact that I would NOT let my 14 year old daughter go on overnights with her boyfriend. Then again I would not let my 14 year old daughter have a long term relationship.

 

[Bear]

I don't think you are being a prude, and there is absolutely no way that would happen ever. I don't have a problem with the relationship at 14 because that is how old I was when my wife and I started dating. I hope your sister at least has the girl on birth control.

 

[BigPapa]

She does have her on birth control which is great on one hand, but scary as hell on the other. I am not naive enough to think that teenagers are not having sex but at 14, sex was the furthest thing from my mind. I can't imagine adding sex and all of it's complications to a teenagers life.

 

[Betterman]

You're not being prude. You say she's going with her boyfriend to visit his father. Does that mean there will be adult supervision? Sex was on my mind at 14, but I had no intention on actually doing it.

 

[Ifamily]

I think that is crazy. I have no teenage daughter, but if I had, I wouldn't let her go on overnights with her boyfriend, let alone for two weeks.

 

[Enrique]

Even if the boy's father is there, he couldn't be THERE all the time with them. These two kids could do anything they want, if they want. Just to be sure that nothing regrettable ever happens, I would never agree to that sort of vacation in the first place.

 

[BigPapa]

I agree Enrique, his dad will not be around all the time. He has to go to work after all. I don't know what my sister is thinking.

 

[Victor]

I don't think there is much that can be done to prevent the girl from having a boyfriend, but it is insane to let her go on overnight trips with him. I know they say "never say never" but I think I can safely say I would never allow that.

 

[uhoh]

I don't have a daughter but I can't imagine that. I have a little sister who is 14 and I guarantee my parents would freak if she suggested such a thing. I know they grow up sooner today in some ways but parents shouldn't be encouraging it.

 

[Sinbian]

16 is the age I would start considering letting my kids go on adventures like this one. It all depends on the kid and the system of values it upholds.

 

[Andersson]

That is not something that would happen for our family and it is not about being prude. Maybe a random overnight at the parents house, supervised, full in the same town as you. No overnights to another state, with a random parent that I have more than likely never met. No way, no how.

 

[Bear]

That was part of what I was thinking too Andersson...you have no way of knowing if the parent who lives out of town is a psycho or something. He is probably a nice guy, but I wouldn't let my child do an overnight across the street with a parent I had never met.

 

[Dad Brad]

Letting a 14-year-old who "has her own birth control" go on an overnight trip with a boyfriend might as well be opening the door and holding it open for them. There are limitations, and this would not even be a question in our household. We would never agree.

 

[Timothy]

There's no way I would let my 14 year-old daughter go on an overnight trip like this with a boyfriend. At 14 years old, I wouldn't let her spend even ONE night with a boy, let alone an extended trip. It's not about being "prude" or "old-fashioned", it's about the fact that at 14 years old, she's too young to be so involved with a boyfriend, even if she is on birth control.